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Chris Rodell's Blog

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Oct.09.2013
(697 words) I’ve written previously about the time our 7-year-old told me it says in the Bible I have to love Snickers. She’s maybe the first rabbinical scholar who wears a pony tail, is missing her two front teeth and dresses in “Hello Kitty!” pink. She swears it’s true. “It says so right in the...
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Oct.08.2013
(685 words) I’m surprised the rascals promoting booming gun sales have yet to resort to the most surefire way to increase revenue -- and I apologize to those of you reflexively groaning at my use of “booming” and “surefire” in connection with gun sales. What does the gun industry need to do to...
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Oct.06.2013
I figure have about five or six tweet-worthy thoughts for every hour I spend in The Pond. We’re all bantering about something and it gets pretty funny. Some one will say a tweet-inspiring thought and I think, dang, I should write that one down. But interrupting the joshing to tweet might risk...
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Oct.04.2013
(1,041 words) I think we can all agree that the worst part of everyone’s day is having to wake up and get out of bed. The common bed is the man’s most marvelous innovation. It surpasses even fire because with enough afghans, snuggly comforters or cozy companions you don’t even need warmth. You can...
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Oct.02.2013
(1,100 words) I don’t have an autograph book or any photo albums with stilted pictures of me standing next to famous people. What I do have are fond memories of me shaking hands with famous people. These include Bob Dole, Arnold Palmer, Peter Frampton, John Tesh and Tone Loc. I think the common...
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Oct.01.2013
(739 words) It’s taken the government shutdown and the crestfallen disappointment of an old friend for me to determine how to describe my political leanings. Ready? Here goes: I am the exact opposite of conservative. That used to mean liberal. Anymore, I’m not so sure. My determination after the ’...
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Sep.30.2013
(671 words) I’m becoming concerned that on October 21 Americans will wake up to headlines revealing crazed Pittsburgh Pirate fans have commandeered a four-story rubber duck and are refusing to let it depart. Yes, I fear the Duckaneers.  Western Pennsylvania is buzzing about ducks and Bucs....
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Sep.27.2013
(1,176 words) I’d like to use today’s blog to alert authorities of the commission of a heinous crime: Someone stole a copy of “Use All The Crayons!” Quick! Anyone know how we can resurrect J. Edgar Hoover? Oh, how I dreamed this day would dawn. See for about a year I’ve toyed with the idea of...
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Sep.26.2013
(717 words) My goal with this post is to write something so magnificent I’ll feel compelled to run down to the liquor store, buy a bottle of champagne and pour it on my head. Of course, if I do, I’ll likely feel equal parts foolish, wasteful and sticky. The Pittsburgh Pirates clinched a playoff...
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Sep.24.2013
(705 words) I know this is bound to sound terrible, but my recollected affections for old girlfriends are surpassed by my feelings for great pizzas I once enjoyed. It’s not that I’m ungrateful for girls who used to risk their reputations by being seen dating me. It’s just that I really love a good...
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Sep.23.2013
(1,059 words) Accomplished athletes who’ve performed at the highest levels may disagree about which sport is the more difficult, but few dissent on this point: One of the most challenging things to do in any sport is to hit a golf ball with anyone watching. It’s because golf is the most self-...
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Sep.18.2013
(1,051 words) I’ve been reluctant to share the news for fear it might upset your feelings. I know a few of you might be under the impression that I’m absolutely beloved here in Latrobe. You might feel this way because of my propensity to embellish even minor achievement -- flattering profiles in...
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Sep.17.2013
(493 words) Another mass slaying; another round of questions. Thoughtful observers are again asking what we can do to prevent more killings. Who’s to blame? Where any loopholes evaded? Me, I have just one question: Why did they bother canceling the baseball game? The Washington Nationals were...
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Sep.16.2013
(784 words) Here’s how skeptical I am over the historical accuracy of “The Butler:” I’m no longer sure the actual butler was black. Being a black butler is a key part of Eugene Allen’s compelling story. Allen died in 2010 at the age of 90. Born on a Virginia plantation in 1919, he ended up serving...
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Sep.13.2013
(737 words) What does it say about mankind that most people would rather raise hell than lower heaven? I guess I’ve been raising hell since about sixth grade when I first began giving my teachers a devil of a time. Never in my life has anyone invited me to lower heaven. You’d think Pat Robertson,...
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