Chris Rodell's Blog
RSS
Jan.08.2013
(939 words)
So I was on the last leg of my seven-hour, 212-mile “Use All The Crayons!” Winter Book Tour when I began to ponder the ways in which my humble little stretch differed from one involving bestseller Dennis Lehane.
He’s the award-winning Boston author and screenwriter for...
Continue Reading »
Jan.07.2013
(714 words)
Because I wouldn’t want it to do anything to dent my cheerful disposition, I’ve chosen to consider it mere coincidence that both I and the word “dipshit” were born the same year.
Yes, me and dipshit turn 50 this year.
“Happy birthday to me (and dipshit)! Happy birthday to me (...
Continue Reading »
2 comments
Jan.04.2013
(738 words)
I may do something next week I vowed in June I’d never do again. Yes, I’m going to tune in one morning to watch the “Today” show on NBC.
Why now?
Matt Lauer’s feeling sad.
It’s true. Apparently, he’s being besieged by New Yorkers who shout mean things at him over his apparent role in...
Continue Reading »
2 comments
Jan.03.2013
(923 words)
My dear nephew called me about a month ago and asked if he and four friends could stay at our house over the holidays. They were driving from Nashville to New York City to see Coldplay.
Of course, I said, only half sure it would ever happen.
As the day approached the weather...
Continue Reading »
Jan.02.2013
(659 words)
I was in the midst of conducting a jiffy little lunch grace with the 6-year-old when I decided to include a subtle morality lesson.
“And, please, God, forgive Lucy for drawing little devil horns, pointy tail and pitchfork on the missionaries on the cover of this week’s church...
Continue Reading »
2 comments
Dec.28.2012
(714 words)
We have become so calloused to gun violence that this week we as a nation roared with laughter after a 9-year-old untrained in firearm safety was nearly deprived of his vision after a ricochet bullet struck him in the face.
God help us.
It’s not like we all didn’t see this...
Continue Reading »
Dec.24.2012
(695 words)
I veered toward the naughty list the other day when our youngest asked me what I wanted for Christmas.
I certainly couldn’t say, “A really good romp,” to a 6-year-old and she wouldn’t have understood if I did.
So I just smiled at her earnestly and said, “Peace on Earth,” which...
Continue Reading »
2 comments
Dec.21.2012
(769 words)
If teachers had been armed when I was a kid, I’d never have made it out of 8th grade and Mr. Nee would still be serving life for murdering a 14-year-old.
See, it’s against the law to murder even obnoxious kids.
I have great admiration for our elementary school teachers, even...
Continue Reading »
Dec.17.2012
(646 words)
The two most frequently asked questions of me are, “Daddy, are you crying?” and “Daddy, did you just fart?”
I don’t know why, but the questions almost always provoke a lie. I’ll say, “Why, no (sniff), I’m not crying.” Or, “I did not fart. Must have been your mother.”
I guess I...
Continue Reading »
Dec.15.2012
(642 words)
I wonder if coffin makers charge by the foot. It would stand to reason a coffin measuring 4-feet long would cost less than one measuring seven.
I know nothing about coffin construction -- it’s probably done mostly by machine these days -- but if I was a coffin maker I’d be...
Continue Reading »
Dec.11.2012
(511 words)
I’ll keep this brief because I’m fearful readers are getting fatigued reading about reaction to my book. But this letter was too pleasing to keep to myself.
It’s from a single mom -- and I have a real soft spot for single parents. She read the Eric Heyl article and...
Continue Reading »
8 comments
Dec.10.2012
(670 words)
By now the best result of the Aussie DJ prank would be if Jacintha Saldana surprises bereft loved ones and assembled media at her funeral by rising from her coffin and yelling, “Gotcha!”
Faking her own death would be a dandy revenge.
It’s either that or most the serious people...
Continue Reading »
Dec.05.2012
(912 words)
I was disappointed yesterday after Bob Costas said talking for 90 seconds about gun violence during an NFL halftime show was “a mistake.”
Actually, talking so much about football violence in a country where there’s so much gun and domestic violence is the real mistake.
I’...
Continue Reading »
2 comments
Dec.03.2012
(636 words)
One of the coolest freelance writers in Pittsburgh will become immeasurably more cool this evening at 7 when Christine O’Toole appears on “Jeopardy!”
That sentence about the show where people must answer answers with questions ends in a titular exclamation point. But with...
Continue Reading »
About Chris
I'm a Latrobe, Pa., writer who'll work for anyone who pays me. I've written for some of the best magazines in America and been rejected by the rest.
Connections
Causes Chris Rodell Supports
Democratic National Committee, UNICEF, Doctors without Borders, Sierra Club, Smile Train, Salvation Army
Chris is a fan of
