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Chris Rodell's Blog

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Jan.19.2009
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I disagreed whenever my late father used to tell me I had a real talent for writing. It’s a character defect, I’d argue. A talent is something that leads to lucrative fulfillment and widespread affirmation. A character defect is something that impedes those things. Those with real talent enjoy...
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Jan.16.2009
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Well, I guess we can all surmise the identity of this month’s US Airways employee of the month. It’s Chesley B. Sullenberger III. I prefer my heroes to be a little more offbeat. Sullenberger looks exactly like a heroic pilot's supposed to look. But come to think of it, most every cockpit cowboy I’...
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Jan.14.2009
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I’m hoping the Pittburgh Steelers win the Super Bowl because it’ll further my argument that blacks have been genetically engineered to lead. Because if the Steelers win Sunday and ultimately on Feb. 1, then on that day two black men will be in charge of two of the most powerful and historic...
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Jan.13.2009
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Brad Pitt is immersed in a fresh round of interviews complaining about how difficult it is being Brad Pitt. This strikes me like carpenters complaining about nails or florists becoming disgruntled over the sight of yet another bloomin’ rose. I just don’t get it. He makes movies and that may involve...
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Jan.12.2009
Few are the monuments we construct to the most monumental people in our lives. My father died five years ago today. So I’m taking the easy way out -- twice in one week! -- today and posting the Pittsburgh Magazine story I did about him in 2004. Editors there flattered me by headlining the 3,000-...
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Jan.09.2009
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My wife and I are the worst kinds of insufferable snobs who are always telling people at parties we never watch much TV. For some reason, this makes us feel culturally superior or at least equal to the people who lie back they never do either. It’s all hooey, of course. We watch all the time. Not...
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Jan.06.2009
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I want my Pennsylvania driver’s license photo to be as repulsive as most celebrity mug shots. That’s why I was thrilled last week to receive notice that I had four full weeks to get a new picture taken before my license expires. That’s plenty of time for my performance art to bear its rotten fruit...
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Jan.05.2009
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Jesus teaches we should love everybody, but I see Dick Cheney and I still can’t pull it off. Cheney’s been saying goodbye lately and it always reminds me about what I detest in the man. He’s an arrogant bully. He’s a war monger who enjoyed five deferments to dodge duty in Vietnam. He’s a dour and...
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Jan.02.2009
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After a careful round of calculating self-analysis, I’ve concluded there’s no need for me to resolve anything to improve in 2009. I’m already an outstanding family man, friend, employee and all-around great guy. I cherish most of my prime vices -- bourbon, cigars, beer, sloth -- and nurture them...
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Dec.29.2008
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My efforts to raise a child free of selfishness are being met with catastrophic failure. Although I’ve always doubted the authenticity of the anthropology, I remain charmed by the legends of Native American tribes that have something like 30 words for snow and none for words like mine. I have about...
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Dec.23.2008
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This has been the best Christmas season for me in more than 30 years and for that I think I have Santa Claus to thank. You see, I spent three days this summer getting to know Santa Claus. I’d seen Santa Claus before, but just for a quick reportorial glimpse. This year I had a good long look. I...
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Dec.22.2008
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I'm destined to become a fine and portly fellow if the dignity behind my Dashed Hope Fund idea is ever recognized. Beginning January 1, it’ll be my policy to invoke the D.H.F. anytime someone calls to say they want to use one of my stories. It’ll be triggered after they flatter the story, assure me...
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Dec.18.2008
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It’s not because I’m basking in the bosom of toy-addled family love that December 26 is one of my favorite days of the year. No, I’m at peace because the day means it’ll be about 335 days before my ears are tortured by another Christmas song. Well, to be accurate, it’ll probably be another 240 days...
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Dec.15.2008
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It’s taken nearly six years, but events in Iraq have finally proven the beloved Baghdad Bob prophetic. If you recall, Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf, aka Baghdad Bob, was the over-the-top Iraqi spokesman who told so many grandiloquent lies that he became the breakout star of the early war all those years...
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Dec.11.2008
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As someone who went to school when many of his friends were taking drugs to get really stupid, I was stunned to read that students today are taking drugs to get really smart. As the Associated Press recently reported, students around the country are taking prescription stimulants like Ritalin to...
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