So, using the impetus of her often unspoken feelings of abandonment by her father helped to push her along.  And if possible the thought that she would be forced to develop her creative side because she could not be a nurse in Paris?  And maybe to escape another caretaking relationship like she saw coming with the guy she had recently been dating and broken up with?  All these reasons added up.  Plus Paris was just Paris, a great place to go.  A last adventure before she had grown too settled in her life.   She felt a little guilty that she was not going to someplace more self sacrificing, a developing country.  She felt that if she went to a third world country and offered her nursing services this was somehow pure and good.  No, she picked Paris because it was the most enchanting place she had ever seen.  She was doing it for self centered reasons, nothing self sacrificing about moving to Paris.    

Carmen approached.  She always walked briskly and fastened her light blue scrubs with a nursing tool belt to show off her neat small figure.  She wore wedge nursing shoes with hearts on the heels and her thick dark hair in a chignon with tendrils of curls cascading around her face.  June preferred white tennis shoes and wore a ponytail if necessary for a procedure and her scrubs loose.  When Carmen and June stood together June had to tilt her chin down to make eye contact with Carmen.  They where best friends and had both started out as techs on the floor and had  gone to nursing school together.  Sometimes June felt like Raggedy Ann standing next to a Cupie Doll.  Carmen said, “June come to the nurses station we have a surprise for you because this is your last night.” She remembered someone telling her that  the biggest kid in class always became friends with the smallest kid in class because they balanced each other.

June and Carmen walked down the hallway with the subdued night time lighting.  Two nurses wearing red berets are sitting at the desk.  One an older women with a gold back capped front tooth and circular eyeglasses, her name is Betty.  The other woman was a pretty blond and battled with her weight and was having one of her heavier times.  Her name Tina.  In addition they had drawn black penciled mustaches for each other.  They all whispered in the quiet night shift atmosphere, “surprise.”  Red, White and Blue streamers went across the nurses station with some paper Eiffel towers and a few pictures of poodles where added.  “You are just wonderful”! June exclaimed in delight.

June laughed and they  and they all proceeded to sit down in the nurses station. Drinking apple juice pretending it is champagne. All happily munching from a calorie counscious vegetable platter.  While the nurses posing as attentive
frenchmen at a cafe.  Carmen drew a mustache on herself.   They were happy, also concerned and knew her reasons for going.  Both the fantasy appartment in Paris signifying a creative life and the saddness around her family history.  Tina again whispered using her quiet night nurse voice, “please don’t go June, just stay in therapy and buy a house with your money.”  June looked back in compassion and understanding as she thought her suggestion was actually a good one.  Yet, June had few doubts, strangely enough.  She was afraid because of not knowing anyone or having a place to stay but she was sure about what she was doing. 

Carmen told June, “You can stay with me if you come back until you get an apartment, so go and have a good time and don’t worry about having a place to land.”  Carmen looked cute with her red beret.   June know that the offer came out of her genorosity and her being familiar with June’s situation of poor contact with her immediate family and divorced and not having a very good support system.  During their nursing school days June had tirelessly tutored Carmen who had a minor learning disability. June although not a typical good student she  had developed some basic study skills from already having a bachelors in fine arts painting.  So when they went to nursing school together June already knew how to be a student and Carmen needed extra help.  And so the two women complimented each other with their strengths.   Carmen had a cohesive family life with supportive parents and a kind husband and three children.  Seeing June’s lonlier but self reliant state she had adopted June to some extent, like a she was a single aunt to the family. 

coonen-voillemin@msn.com