How in the world did this get started? Well, if you can't beat 'em, etc.
Feel free to add your favorite neologisms. 
 
metrophobia –fear of poetry
spectocloacaphobia--the fear of one’s eyeglasses falling in the sewer
neophobe--fear of novelty
phobophillia--one who is in the habit of tacking ever more phobias, like donkey tails, onto one’s own behind
drunke schoen--thanks for the brewskis