For Gretchen Kurz, professional restaurant reviewer
WILL WRITE FOR FOOD
By Charles Redner
The editor explained,
I accept your restaurant review
pay $50.00. Not accepted,
you just bought yourself dinner.
Well, a no-brainer tell myself.
Hit Billy Bob’s Barbeque on Wednesday –
All-the ribs you-can-eat $25.00
$5.00 for unlimited beer mug refills.
Devoured all the beef and beer
I could stomach,
left a twenty-spot for Sallie May,
went home and composed my review.
Next morning stopped by the magazine,
delivered the manuscript and waited
to collect my fee.
The editor declared that he loved it.
Praised my depictions of the restaurant’s ambience
and detailed descriptions of the meal.
Delighted over my evaluation of the wait staff,
especially Sallie May’s physical attributes.
Said he never expected me to discover
and include the secret recipe
for Billy Bob’s barbeque sauce.
He told me what a surprisingly fine writer I was.
But … but … rejected. No pay.
Totally perplexed and wondering if Sallie May
might return a portion of my overly generous tip,
sadly, departed the offices of …
The Vegan and Alcohol Prohibition Digest.
Charles Redner is the publisher/executive editor of The Hummingbird Review, annual literary anthology; author of Down But Never Out, bio of Hall of Fame boxing world champion, Joey Giardello; Terror Travels the Devil’s Highway, a novel; and Long-A-Coming, book of poetry. He is a co-host of “Write Now,” cable TV show. Redner writes and lives in Laguna Woods, CA
Causes Charles Redner Supports
All Down syndrome associations, Buddy Walks in LA, Tucson and Orange Country CA