“In Regard to the Hats that I Wore”

This year, I promise not to post my first draft blogs, and then proceed to do all my editing in the Red Room!  Which seemingly makes me look not so smart, to think you have truly understood from the draft.  That it was exactly what I really meant to say in the first place!  I realized that even the best writers are often tempted to go back to their essays, in search of mistakes, punctuation, or a better word for this or that. However, I’ve been writing on the edge without a mat, (grammar checker, that is) up until a month ago.  Which I soon learned is a phenomenal tool!  It actually showed me my mistakes and more; where I need to expand on my writing skills.  While, at the same time, I understand the most important part of the creative process is in the actual writing – and to write, write, and write even more.  Still, it’s been made known to me, (by this tool) to learn more, if I intend to keep writing here.

Whether it was my ego’s audacity that disguised its face again, optimism, or a timely source of grace? I really can’t say what exactly pushed me to go forward in doing these things; all the time knowing that the professionals are reading them!  While I would hope, you understand from my list below. A pleasant consequence resulted.   

1. I am thrilled being here in the Red Room.  It is the closest that I’ve ever been to the finest English literature class in my life.  I want to belong here, so I must learn more about writing. (Meanwhile, I’m hoping you really like me enough to stay here.)
2. There’s an inner strength that has the courage to write and pushes me forward. (Believe or not, it’s not I.)
3. I feel the genuine support from the Red Room staff, as well as from the authors and members. (Just ask Mary Walsh. :-)
4. I have a dear husband, friend, and a sister, who allows my writing to pass go, every time, much too soon, before it's ready. (It’s not all my faults!)
5. I know right from wrong through years and experiences of mistakes.  Although, I do not always know how to write about them the best, until after their posted - when it's too late to change your minds, with what I really meant to say! 
6.  Reading the blogs, I comprehend the meanings, the same as mine. Though, truthfully, your's are of the highest quality and precision; eloquent, eminent, impressionable, and of impeccable wording that continues to impress me. (And I want to learn how to use all of them correctly!)
7.  You might be thinking what I’m doing here, beforehand?   And it is all because of, and addition to No. 2.  Which I've had some past successes with ‘putting them into action first. That are, the desires that I aspire for. (An author would be a dream comes true!)
8. I wrote about this pattern of life in a previous post below. Even though I must have overlooked this somehow, since the pattern is continually being repeated.  Still, today is my greatest opportunity to address this properly, and change it for the better.  I realized that I’ve been living the part, before putting in the appropriate requirements. Which, I found is not always proper, especially in academics, (even with my innocence).   
9.  This year, I will definitely look further to advance my writing skills.  I must learn how to write better, for genuinely belonging here.
10. I’ve once heard that the only thing we should be faking is confidence. Perhaps, and unbeknown to me, it was the spirit of confidence that has been miraculously pushing me in the right direction. (I would sincerely say it is to blame.)

Honestly, I can see what I need to do to make this change of reinventing myself, for the best and righteous way to begin the New Year. The solution for me is an online writing class, and just as importantly, not to post my first drafts!  Actually, in hindsight, and another way I look at this; I understand what attracted me to the Red Room from the beginning.  It is truly my passion to be one among you, and write a worthy story, which is more than I could have dreamed of, and where I’d love to hang my hat in the end:

 http://redroom.com/member/catherine-nagle/blog/i-must-tell-so-i-must-write

Thank you for reading, which keeps me writing. :-)           

 I'd truly appreciate your suggestions.