Loving you, and your loving me , are words and feelings we can now explore. The motivational thoughts of love at a time in our life and our age has so much more meaning. It is comforting and overwhelming!
Love is my reason for life, my purpose in life ,it is all I ever think about because I am so full of it. I want to give love , And now that someone want to give it back.., it scares me.., yet, excites me!
The more you speak of love and share love with me, the more I want to show it off , to shout it out , to let people see that it is possible to find! I want people to notice how beautiful life can be when you choose to declare love.
Experiencing love makes me happy. It gives me wings to fly off into this spiritual world of mines where everything is so heavenly. All of my movements are to allow a satisfying experience for this special person who is now in my life. My purpose is to give him all of me and much, much more. To touch him, to laugh with him, to share with him , to feel with him!
Although it has been awhile for me , and I have spent some lonely times creating a web around my heart.., as a cushion, a safety shield , in order to function, to carry on , loveless! The thoughts of removing that cushion, unwinding that web, breaking down that shield...,is tearing at me.
My emotions are running wild , the thoughts of love, the thoughts of your loving me! I am embracing it as I feel you are. I am beginning to feel love, your love, and I want to return it so much, that it's making me weak, making me vulnerable, and it is consuming me. I want to run to you, to cry to you, to hold on to you, until I lose all the fears and doubts.
My mind is heavy with thoughts of you. It's almost like having an "out of body " experience...,as I sit and wonder...,and in my mind, I am praying, that somehow together, we can guide each other in making this a place of warmth and acceptance. It's as if I am looking down upon us...,pictures of our being absorbed into each other, feeling pure ecstasy just by looking into your eyes, and you looking back into mines. The feelings are developing and unfolding step by step..., in my mind.
But then reality sets in...,you are there, and I am here, and a sense of the unknown, fear of distance, fears of not being worthy of such a love, fear of not being able to give nor accept that kind of love..., leaves me with a mixture of emotions. Emotions that remind me of all of my flaws.., the old beliefs that I cannot trust anyone with my heart! Should I now be on guard? Should I protect my heart?
It appears easy for you to say "I love you" and each time I hear it , I am thinking that you really mean; that you want to love me..., that you are willing to try, to build a loving relationship with me. That is a commitment , to see if we can do it!
I have made commitments before , gone through the motions , and it appears to be easily done without love. I performed the love act, the sexual act.., and it became more clear to me that nothing was growing.., nothing was being build , as a matter of fact we were tearing each other down every chance we got. I began to realized that without love my heart had unfulfilled needs.
Spiritually, I believe that God has a Master Plan , that a person has to first love himself, in order to give love , and in giving love one is nurturing someone's heart. We can nurture our mind, but it takes the giving of love to nurture our heart!
The example of giving love, according to the master plan, is expressed in my need of becoming a pumpkin;
Causes Catherine Madry-Stewart Supports
The William Hooper Councill Alumni Association, Inc.-The Historical Restoration of the William Hooper Councill High School Building, Huntsville, AL