Today I submitted my final grades for the semester in what may well be my last semester teaching at college. This is a sort of deja vu in that I have submitted my final grades in what might have been my last semester of teaching five or six times now and then after a period of unemployment got hired again. With the economy as it is, and New York as it is, perhaps this really is the last time. I must admit to ambivalence. I don't want to teach anymore. I am out of step with what this math department believes and wants. I do not understand what modern students want or expect or need. I don't believe in the meaning of what I have been doing. On the other hand I do want to teach. In the right class at the right time with the right group of students, I do a great job and everything reaches that level of perfect peace and smoothness that it should, or close enough. Sometimes there is one student that makes it worthwhile. Mostly though the negative is growing and the positive is shrinking. And I don't like the insecurity of not knowing how to live. I have tried to post another poem, one that I think is the best I have done. I wrote it walking home from classes one spring day and hearing some crows. It didn't occur to me until a year later that it was really describing academia.
Causes Carroll Boswell Supports
I am a Christian and so I support whatever works for justice to the poor and works against violence. I am an environmentalist, and these days I have been...