Why did you leave me? Why?
Quite often, these are the words are bleating from the mouth of those who have been abandoned. Further, these same words are propelled forth across their wetted lips, by the same driving force, gushing forth the symbiotic bitter tears, which stream from their bleary eyes.
Oh, my spiritual friend I have seen and often heard these same words, much as though one were to hear an album skip upon the player. Oh indeed, all the while, I find myself, unconsciously shedding this same rain, causing my eyes to become blurry, thereby potentially dismissing my objectivity. For so often as I had written previously, when one has come to tears, the individual has surrendered himself or herself and can be broken down no more. This is because, within them is complete surrender, far deeper than we may peer into, and to heights, which no "White Flag" may reach.
By this same token, being ignorant of the surrender, many continue to either pummel away at the carcass, for that is all that remains during these moments, or are inept to reconcile things and, much like the verse from the ol' nursery rhyme, "All the king's men could not put him back together again." The reason is quite simple. It is because we are unable to "examine and rake over" that we remain "clumsy".
No doubt these words appear, to some, as being offensive: that is not my intent, the factor required is lateral connection and transference.
First, we must examine, and come with the foreknowledge as to why one needs to connect with their birth parent(s). The response may be as simple as what is it that causes a mother of her new born to feel that "ineffable experience" of holding her newborn next to her. I, like my fellow males, are inept to truly appreciate, experience and grasp what it is. Nevertheless, for those men who are fathers, and were present with their wife during the delivery, should readily see and have a glimpse of what it is that so transcends a mother's maternal instinct and drive!
This same connection is readily imparted to ones-self. This innate, yearning is triggered without human intervention. Quite often, a child is aware without being informed of their adoption. This is because it is innate and not instilled within us. Likewise, the yearning within the parent has never diminished; this coupled with all the accessory emotions take its toll upon the parent until reconciliation is made.
Oh, my friend this is because love remains...well... ineffable! In all of history, there is no accurate definition of this word, for it remains veiled in its true splendor. Oh indeed, we may point to or recite love in action, this being much like a vehicle, or express it in various actions. Yet, to truly define it, or convey it, as it truly is, takes us to a depth few desire to reach, and unto heights which require us to potentially surrender our life.
I, for one, remain imprisoned in my own in ability to neither peer into its depths nor possess the endurance to scale its heights. It is not my age, nor is physical prowess, for that of no avail.
Nevertheless, these same yearnings for our Spiritual Father remain silent. Few are the times that my ears hear the plea for a moment to help with reflections concerning this issue. We may sift through diamonds, ruby and other precious stones, waiting for that moment when the sparkle blinds our eyes as to it brilliance. Or we gaze over restraint menu finding that tasty morsel to satisfy our cravings. Yet nothing to resolving that inner gapingness, which requires a specific resident to take as a home.
Yet, in each of these arousings, we discover a gracious purpose; we can trace every one of these awakenings to His hand who watched over our path, determined to deliver us from our selfishness. For there remains this small end of that wedge, which has since been driven home, was inserted during our youthful hours of inward strife; that is within the ground of our heart was then enduring a plowing, a preparatory to the seed.
Let no one despise the strivings of the Spirit in the hearts of the young, the mature, nor the old, let not childish anxieties and juvenile repentances be lightly regarded. For they incur a fearful amount of guilt who in the least promotes the aim of the Evil One by trampling upon a tender conscience in a child. We at least can bear our testimony to the fact that grace operates on some minds at a period almost too early for recollection.
Although it is imagined that the feelings of the young are slight and superficial - nevertheless, they are frequently of the deepest character. These same feelings and stirrings continue as we grow, my spiritual friend, may I say to you, stop and take time as you gather, soon, with family and friends, and find scores of reasons to be thankful, to recognize the source of all that has been showered upon you through these years. Oh yes, some good, some sad, and yet, there is purpose, in all of it.
Be thankful for what you and I can never repay for, that is, those moments of heartfelt gratitude, appreciation for and support of family and friends. Indeed, even if you are one who is without natural parents, for these step-parent(s) have given you, oh so much love and attention, rising above what they were unable to do in the beginning, and for your natural parent(s), who are known or unknown. They provided you with the gift of life.
Relief & Response:
Become to be at peace and come to reconcile these stirrings within you, seek that which transcends all understanding and there you will find what is and Who it is that you need to take up His home within you, filling you with all that you need and more that you could ever know was possible!
Until our spiritual eyes meet again,
Bro Smith SGS