I always likened myself to the grilled cheese between two pieces of bread - my mother being one piece and my child(ren) being the other. I always felt that there were these unseen battle lines being drawn asking me to choose my loyalties - if I were to follow the course that my mother were to have me follow it would be diametrically opposite of the course I had set out upon to the one for my children and if I were to follow a course of action that my children dared me to take it would be a complete offense to my children. Perhaps you would understand better if I gave concrete examples.
First, my daughter wanted her lip pierced. I figured it was a phase, I went along. My mother refused to allow her in her home. - Now if that isn't being put in the middle - I need a new definition.
Second, I have pondered the idea of an angel tattoo on my right shoulder for several years - my children are all for it as they understand the significance of that image in my life. My mother - almost had a heart attack and pretty much threatened to disown me. Let's just say my shoulder is still image free.
I have discovered that it is so much easier to keep my thoughts to myself - fairly sad at this stage of my life - but much safer - where it comes to parents and children - but now here comes the real rub to this grilled cheese story. (Anyone hungry yet?)
NOW I find that I am the grilled cheese between my very own children (shudder the thought!)
Now that all the birds have flown the coop I find that they all try to play me against each other. WHERE do they get these notions? It is amazing when you hear their stories of growing up - you would think they each grew up in a different home with a different mother. They all feel slighted and that the other one is my favorite and that I favor him or her or give this one that and that one this and on and on.
WOW - no wonder I talk to the dog!
Causes Brenda Youngerman Supports
House of Ruth
Missionaries of Charity