Wouldn't that be better - like Woody Allen suggested - to start with death, pain and sicknesses and then become younger and younger and younger, become a child, then a small baby that everybody loves? Be hugged and kissed by all the family members who would think that we are the cutest thing in the world and then go trough our own birth and end our life in an orgasm of our parents during the moment of our creation? And then we would join the biggest creator of all - God?
My mom is slipping away now after many years of Alzheimer and the last year of the hard-to-take-last-stage of that disease.
And I can't sleep and I am writing this note.
The worst thing is to realize that one can't do anything to reverse the disease, that there is no cure for it and one can only accept that.
But how is one supposed to do it?
I don't know.
My father past away a long time ago and it was very difficult, I thought the next time will be easier - but it is not - he was suffering for not even 3 years and she was for much longer ...
Getting rid of self blaming for the fact that the disease progresses.
Words, sentences and emotions are so loud and inside of me a loud scream:
Would somebody change the world?!!! Please?!!! Take the suffering away from us? Isn't there somewhere a computer programmer who could reprogramm the world?!!! Make it a better, nicer, happier place???