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Back to School

Summer vacation is coming to an end.  My daugthers go back to school this Monday.  Back to my scheduled, regimented world of homework, projects, school lunches, getting up at the crack of dawn driving to drop off and pick up.

I am trying very hard to be enthusiatic and cheerful about the coming year.  My older daughter is starting middle school - yay!  Middle school is such fun- not!  My youngest is going to fifth grade.  I am already dreading the FCATS.

Here's the thing.  I have been there done that.   I was a super school mom for my now grown adult children.  I was a class mom, volunteered  for every school event, field trip, PTA, the works.

I diligently stayed up all night doing the science projects for my kids proudly getting an A for my efforts.  I ran myself ragged preparing them for their tests.   I was a wreck.  When they went off to college it was a relief.   As far as the work went out of sight out of mind.  They did very well without me and suceeded just fine.

Then I adopted my two little girls - the joys of my life - and this time around I figured I would take it easy, I wouldn't sweat the small stuff. What will be will be.   That lasted about a day into kindergarten.

When Mrs. Bayler told me that my daughter didn't hand in her reading homework, my heart started pumping and I felt that familiar panic.  From that day forward I have checked the homework folder as they step in the door from school.

 

So I am back to school full time with my girls.  This time I quit the goody- two- shoes school mom thing.   No more volunteering for me. No more organizing the class parties.   I am older and wiser.  Older that I now have to take a nap every afternoon before we start homework.  Wiser that this too shall pass.  I have to remnd myself to get a grip.

Since I was a little girl I have had the "Sunday Blues' feeling that washes over me as soon as the sun goes down at the end of a weekend.  Unlike many happy students who love school and tell   you those were the best days of their lives, I dreaded every day.   Thirty years later, I still have that feeling.

I know its time that I grew up and let my daughters go to school and give myself permission to graduate once and for all. They have to go to school , I don't.   This is my resolution for the coming school year.    I will keep you posted.