Butter Cat, that housecat that will sit one heartbeat away from the presidency should John McCain be elected in November, dispassionately lounges on a pile of Rom Spaceknight comic books.
As John McCain shocked the political establishment by choosing Butter Cat to be his Vice Presidential pick, news organizations and the gossip hungry American public have been scrambling to learn more about the housecat that will sit a heartbeat away from the most powerful job in the world.
First and simply, is Butter qualified to be Vice President? Does Butter even understand what it is the Vice President does?
Is Butter Cat ready to lead this country if the unthinkable happens?
What foreign policy experience does Butter have? It’s been said that he is not even allowed to venture into the front yard let alone visit Europe, Latin America, Iraq or Afghanistan. Also, it is rumored that Butter runs and hides under the bed whenever somebody knocks on the door. How can Butter deal with Putin if he is too scared to confront the Domino’s Pizza Delivery guy?
Does Butter understand our current economic situation? Does he understand the pain of workers who have seen their jobs shipped overseas or of those who have lost their homes due to foreclosure? Although Butter’s owner has been unemployed for most of the year, Butter has still been fed at least two cans of Friskies a day with no thought as to how that Friskies got there. Butter seems to have little care or concern for the rising prices that have hit middle class and poor families especially hard this year and many critics point out that his is kept insulated from the skyrocketing cost of canned cat food.
While the McCain/Butter campaign has criticized fat cats, Butter is a fat cat and he’s getting fatter!
What Butter brings to the ticket: Butter can kill a mouse, which imbues him that folksy charm that all Americans seem to love. Catching and killing mice, as well as devouring flies and other insects really makes your average American feel that they can sit down and have a beer with him.