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Monthly blog contest; send me an accordion joke

I've decided to launch a monthly contest over at my new "Accordion Dreams" blog. Send me your best accordion joke by Monday, June 16.  Produce the best entry, and you'll be our guest at the Sauce Piquante show at Ashkenaz in Berkeley on June 17.  Or, if you prefer,  I'll send you a copy of our CD.

I'll post  some of the good ones over at  http://accordiondreams.blogspot.com/

 Here's one I heard from one of my teachers:

Q: How many Cajun accordion players does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Six.  One to change the bulb, and five to stand back and say, "Oh, I can do that." 

(I've also heard this joke applied to other instruments.  Who knows, it might even apply to some aspiring writers!) 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Accordion jokes?!

Boy...that's a door so wide you could drive a Buick through it! Where can we begin???

I love Weird Al Yankovic's heavy metal accordion pieces. "Polka your Eyes Out" is a classic.

My favorite accordion joke is a Far Side cartoon, however. There's a guy who just arrives at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter says, "Welcome to heaven, here's your harp."

In the next panel, a guy just arrives in Hell. The Devil says, "Welcome to hell, here's your accordion."

Love itl :)

 

Eric

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Entry #1 received!

All right, entry #1!   Thanks, Eric!  That is a good one, often repeated and reprinted.  But sometimes the old classics are the best :-)

 

 

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Hi, Blair

That's a really smart way to get people to your website. Maybe I'll contribue a cartoon :)

I'm trying to think if I were to get people over to my www.belleyang.com, I would give a piece of original art. Hmm...but what would I want them to do on my website. Any ideas?

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We could

Send photos of unusual hats we'd like to see Belle wearing. :)

 

Eric

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Hi Belle, Thanks, I'd love

Hi Belle,

Thanks, I'd love to see an accordion cartoon!   That would sure put you on the inside track.  

Just spent some time over at your site, watched the video of "Always Come Home to Me."  It's so beautiful!  I loved reading about your personal story too.  

How to get people over to your site?  Well, gosh,  you are already pretty high profile, so I wouldn't think you'd have to worry about that too much :-)  But let's see, what could you ask them to do ?  Something about collecting people's immigration stories?  (That's an interest of mine.)  Maybe "two name" stories  in people's families, either first or last names that get altered to be more "American."   

Thanks for stopping by!

 Blair 

 

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Erhu poem

Hi Belle:

I forgot about this poem I wrote a few years ago for a lady who was learning to play an Erhu.

 

Poor little erhu

Sit on Huey-ji knee

Try to make sweet music

Only make a skreeeeee!

 

 

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How do you know the stage is

How do you know the stage is level?

Tobacco juice is running out both sides of the accordion player's mouth.

 

(Also applies to banjo players) :)

 

eric

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This is not strictly an

This is not strictly an accordion "joke", but true.

My friend of many years, on her route to express herself artistically, once attempted to play the accordion. It was a big accordion with buttons and keys and straps for the shoulders. She went through this attempt for months.

Once, while 'practicing', the phone rang, and she answered without removing the rig. It was a "heavy breather" caller, with some choice suggestions to make. My friend extended the accordion as far as it would go and let him have it. Whether he ever made such a call again must be left to speculation.

My friend finally decided to be a visual artist. 

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Great story!  Thanks for

Great story!  Thanks for sharing it!  Who says accordions can't be weapons of self defense?

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Accordion Joke Contest

Minimum safe distances between street musicians and the public:

  • Violinist: 25 feet
  • Bad Violinist: 50 feet
  • Tone Deaf Guitar Player who knows 3 chords: 75 feet
  • 15 year-old Electric Guitar Player with Nirvana fixation: 100 feet
  • Accordionist: 60 miles
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Only a fellow accordionist

Only a fellow accordionist could come up with that one :-)

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Accordian Joke

Q:  What is the definition of a musical gentleman?
A:  A man who can play the accordion----but doesn't.

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An accordion player was getting home late one night after a long gig.   Her accordion was in the back of her car and the thought of carrying the heavy case up to her 3rd floor apt was too daunting, so just this once she decided to leave it in the car and retrieve it in the morning.   The next day she goes downstairs and, sure enough, the back window of her car is smashed.........and there are two more accordions in the back seat.

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Whoa, a name from the past, I think:-)

What a surprise!  

Recently discovered I am not the only nice midwestern girl from my suburban high school who ended up a funky middle-aged woman with a band!

(Unless I have the name wrong??) 

 

 

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accordion joke

Hi Blair. I've heard the "I can do that" light bulb joke told about operatic sopranos in place of Cajun accordion players. Here's a more general accordion joke, although I'm not sure it's worthy of a literary website...

Q: What's the definition of "perfect pitch?"

A: Throwing an accordion down the toilet without hitting the rim.

 

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Hi Mark, That's a good one!

Hi Mark,

That's a good one!  Welcome to Red Room!  (We need more  accordionists around here :-) 

 

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And the winner is.....

Well, this was a tough one!

I realized there were two problems with me as sole judge:  I know some of the contributors, and I've already heard a number of accordion jokes.

So I decided to consult with a more objective judge, my fiddler husband Steve.  I read him the jokes, not identifying contributors.

We arrived at a fine consensus: two winners.  A tie.  And it works out nicely, prize-wise, since I'm pretty sure one of the winners lives in the midwest, too far to get to a gig in Berkeley.  (At the very least, it would be tough to  contact her, since her profile isn't completed.)

Drum roll (or maybe a bellows shake is more appropriate!).

The winners are: 

Michaela Nelson, for her charming reverse break-in-joke.

-and- 

Mark Dewitt, for the accordion "bathroom humor"  joke.

So Mark, come on over to Ashkenaz, if you care to.  You'll be on the guest list!

And Michaela (Mickey??) drop me a line and I'll send you a Sauce Piquante CD.

And everyone else--I enjoyed reading all the contributions!  Thanks for joining in!  Guess I need to think about next month's contest.... 

 

 

 

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Fun!

Blair, I think it's great that you did this. If only I'd heard an accordion joke before now! Did you do anything special to publicize it elsewhere on the Great Accordion-Lovin' Interwebs?

Huntington Sharp, Red Room

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Hi Huntington, Glad you

Hi Huntington,

Glad you liked it!  It was fun, though I'm hoping maybe next month's contest (whatever that is) will get a few more participants.  

As  for what I did:  I did post on the new blog I've started on blogger,  but I don't think anyone has discovered it yet :-) (No comments at all on that one, anyway.)  I wrote about it on the messages I sent out to people on my "band list" about the last 2 Sauce Piquante gigs.  And one person seems to have found me in connection with our upcoming high school reunion in the Chicago suburbs!

Any ideas for next month's contest?   

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accordion

"I'm marching to the beat of a different accordian"