First book author jitters as I turn loose my page proofs and my new website
It's been an intense week-and-a-half. I ended up working on two fronts simultaneously: the page proofs for "Accordion Dreams" and my new author site. Friday deadline for both. The new site went live a couple of days ago and the corrected page proofs are now safely on their way to Mississippi.
Good things are happening, no doubt. The first book signing event is scheduled for January at Booksmith in SF, with something in the works for February at Ashkenaz (a combined book event and band gig.) I just met the West Coast book sales rep for U Press Mississippi, who is very enthusiastic and supportive. Everyone has been great to deal with, every step of the way.
So why did I feel so overwhelmed with anxiety last night? Couldn't sleep, chest tightness, strange dreams, wired? I had a little taste of what it must be like to have a panic attack, I think. Maybe the reality of getting ready to let go of this "baby" was starting to hit me. It must be common, no?
As a member of my writing group reminded me, I am lucky to be in this position. I know that, of course. But it's still unsettling.
Keywords:
A lyrical, deeply felt, and beautifully rendered memoir of a mid-life love affair with Cajun music that ultimately transforms a psychologist’s life, while enriching those of its readers.
”
—Doreen Orion, psychiatrist and author of "Queen of the Road"
About Blair
I am the author of a music memoir ("Accordion Dreams: A Journey into Cajun and Creole Music, University Press of Mississippi, January 2009) and the accordionist/vocalist in Cajun-Creole band Sauce Piquante. I live with my fiddler-husband Steve in the San...
Connections
Causes Blair Kilpatrick Supports
Louisiana Folk Roots, National Alliance for the Mentally Ill, Habitat for Humanity/Musician's Village New Orleans, Doctors Without Borders
You are lucky ...
... for knowing what you know at the same time your publisher was needing a writer with your knowledge.
Numerous times while writing my book I was running on two hours sleep a night fueled by nothing more than the desire to give my best. Since you seem so restless about your book, consider it a good sign for you and your readers.
In other words, if you aren't emotionally charged at this time, you either don't care about your finished product or you're dead. Just be glad you're none of the above. :-)
Congratulations, Blair!
Thanks, Thomas! That puts
Thanks, Thomas! That puts it in perspective: I do care, and I'm not dead :-)
You are right, there is a tending-toward-manic writing energy that a lot of us have. I've only recognized in the last year or so that's part of the mix for me. (Strange, given my "day job," that it's taken some time to figure this out, I know.) Don't think I'd do well on two hours of sleep, more than once in a blue moon, though.
(I'm guessing you are younger than I am :-)
What took me by surprise, I guess, is that it would be at this particular point, in theory less stressful (just close proofreading, right?) that all this should come to a head.
Thanks again for the good wishes--and also for sharing the perspective of someone who is a whole lot more seasoned than I am!
Blair
It's a nice
kind of wired, weird dreams and anxiety!!
Hmm, I don't know Belle. I
Hmm, I don't know Belle. I agree about weird dreams, don't really mind them. But the anxiety, especially the physical symptoms, it was kind of distressing. I did realize something yesterday: that weight-on-the-chest feeling that I thought was anxiety (and hoped wasn't a cardiac symptom!) turned out to be something more prosaic: a pulled muscle from exercising.
I feel a lot better today, after a good night's sleep!
A little wired is good, I agree. We're writers, so we have to expect that :-)
Blair