I heard a term used yesterday that had me thinking a lot. Fire Lighters and Fire Fighters.
I believe that everyone is born with a flame. Whether it's a burning desire to be something special or just stand out from everyone else. There's a fire in all of us and there are circumstances that dictate whether or not we keep it lit.
It starts with the natural fight within that we are constantly conflicted and questioning our every action. Then there's the people around you that constantly test your fire power.
A fire lighter is a person that see you for who you are and who you can be. Ignite and nurture the flame in you.
Fire fighters put out that fire in you. They tell you what’s wrong with everything you're planning, resist change, discourage and minimize your power)
Ever since I heard this terminology, I've been thinking about what I want for my life and my son's life. Now I have to think about the people in our lives that don't want the same things for us, even making it harder for us to achieve our dreams and goals. I've been self-employed for many years now. That means I only get paid when I earn money. There's no Birdie Fund somewhere for me lying around. So I have to make my own money however I can. I don't complain about money. I do what I can. If I can't "afford" to hang out with you, it just means that all of my dollars are all accounted for, including future dollars (for now). With that, I hear sometimes, why don't you go out and get a job? If only it were that simple. 1) I'm a businesswoman. If whenever the money got scarce businesses packed up and dried up, how many businesses would last?
It opened my eyes when I asked myself: Who has been there for me, encouraging me every step of the way with my accomplishments? And who is always planting those seeds of doubt that permeate my foundation?
I can't blame anyone else for my missteps or my shortcomings nor can anyone else take credit for my accomplishments and talents. So I can't point the finger when I choose to stop pursuing something out of fear although I have in the past. I am the one that chooses my friends, chooses my actions and chooses my future course. I can also choose who keep in my life.
There's a difference between a reality check and extinguishing a flame. Don't be so damn negative.