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Bill Schmalfeldt's Biography

Member Info

Elkridge, Maryland
Third time's the charm -- apparently.
Jul 2008

After more than 30 years behind the mic, I've stepped out and found a real job.  Don't get me wrong... Hamburger Helper (sans burger) is a tasty treat.  But after almost four years of getting a regular paycheck, I think I like THIS lifestyle MUCH better.

After my first stint in the Navy, I got out with hopes of being the next "Wolfman Jack."  I got back INTO the Navy three years later, and Wolfman's job was safe.  In the Navy I picked up some valuable skills as a Navy Journalist, and traveled around the world -- including 18 months in Japan.

I've been a radio news director, a disc jockey, a talk show host, and I was one of the original program directors at XM Satellite Radio from 2001 to 2003.

Now I ply my trade as a writer-editor at the National Institues of Health in Bethesda, handling Media Relations at the Clinical Center's "Patient Recruitment and Liaison" department.  My job, to a large part, is to let folks know about the importance of clinical research in the discovery of cures and new treatments for disease.  As of late, my Parkinson's disease has made it necessary for me to work at home more oft than not.  But I get by. 

I'm not just an advocate... I'm a customer!

In June 2007, I underwent Deep Brain Stimulation surgery as part of a Phase 1 clinical trial looking into the safety and tolerability of DBS on people with early Parkinson's Disease (I was diagnosed in 2000 at age 45).

I have one published book to my name, and several boxes filled with manuscripts that someday may become best sellers.  (Probably after I die in some freakish, headline-making accident, thereby making my stuff more salable.)

When I'm not writing press releases, speeches and talking points, I blog about my life as a guy with Parkinson's Disease at http://deepbraindiary.com.

 I'm married (3rd time's a charm), kids are all grown up, except for the 4-year old Border Collie (Raven) and the 2-year old German Shepherd (Shiloh). 


The Simpsons
National Lampoon (from the 1970s -- when it was funny)
Stephen King
Tom Clancy

Upcoming Works

Undercover Trucker: "How I Saved America by Truckin' Towels for the Taliban"

Synopsis: It's a first person account of how disgraced, alcoholic truck driver Billy Big Rig (Not His Real Name) single-handedly saved America, killed Saddam Hussein (the real one, not that imposter they hanged in 2007), took down Osama bin Laden and survived a fist fight with "the evilest president there ever was, and by that I mean BILL CLINTON!"

Hunky Dunk

Synopsis: Mud and Jake Klemper are simple people. Simpler than most. They enjoy the simple pleasures: wrestling, cheap bourbon, their dogs, chickens, and music. When a song they wrote together becomes a runaway international hit, the cascading effect of their newfound celebrity results in they boys becoming world tag-team wrestling champions, media icons, poultry moguls, and demigods. Through it all, they maintain their simple view of life and control of a gift that their father told them they must never use.


Synposis: A first person, non-fiction account of the author's participation in an experimental brain surgery for Parkinson's Disease. (Work in progress)


I really, really would LIKE to HAVE one.

Recommended Links


Dead End Street, LLC

Interests & Hobbies

Doing things is what I like to do.