You Can’t Fix A Broken Mirror
By Bernadette A. Moyer
“You can’t fix a broken mirror.” RDM
When I read the quote above it inspired this piece and it made me think of the “mirror” both literally and figuratively. The shattered glass in a mirror can never be fixed but would need to be replaced. Then too what we see in the mirror of ourselves and in others that can be broken. Can that “mirror” image be “fixed” or “restored” or can it just be “replaced.”
We can go too far in our relationships where they can never be “fixed” or even “restored” or “replaced.” A few years ago we had an issue with a family member and in being the classic Libra peace maker I wanted to “fix” and “restore” it was my 18 year old son that said, “Don’t! They will just do it again.” I didn’t want to believe him; time would quickly tell that he was right when that same person “did it again.” So when it is “broken” it is unfixable?
Kids lie and parents aren’t perfect. I used to believe that “kids never lie.” Maybe it was my innocence or my ego. I thought because I had a close loving relationship that my kids would never lie to me. Ego? Truth is kids do lie just like adults lie. Why would we think that kids don’t lie when everyone does to some degree or another?
I never ever thought parents were perfect, neither mine nor I. Parents are people with imperfections like all people. You don’t parent kids for decades and get it all right, all of the time. In a marriage, there are issues like any other relationship just like in any family. All families have “stuff” and if they say they don’t, it’s just not true.
When is enough, enough, the road of no return when that “mirror” has been shattered and can no longer be fixed or repaired. We have to live with the brokenness or we have to replace that which is broken with something better and healthier, something new.
Decades ago one of our kids did things in our house that we didn’t like but they wouldn’t stop yet when one of our friends was over to visit, they closed the door and didn’t want that friend to see it. It was obvious then that they didn’t think what they were doing was right or acceptable but as the parents we were expected to accept it. This got to me thinking that maybe there comes a time when our kids will be better behaved in others company than with their own parents and in their own home.
“Familiarity breeds contempt” was a line I often heard my grandmother recite. It translates to people do not respect someone they know well enough to know his or her weaknesses and faults.
We are all broken on some level or another, not one of us came into this life just perfect. We see things through the lenses of whom and what we are, like I see this 19 year old Boston bombers face and I see a little boy, I don’t see a “bomber.” I am a mother. Yet it looks like that is what he is, a bomber. I always saw my kids as innocent babies and children, I never fully understood anything negative they might be capable of until I was directly faced with it and couldn’t deny their acts of hurt. I can only wonder if that “broken mirror” represents how they view themselves or how they view others. Either way it comes from the “man in the mirror.”
A broken mirror can never be fixed, and perhaps that is why it is just like our hearts and should be handled with love and with care.