We See the World As We Are
By Bernadette A. Moyer
Most often we see the world as we are and we don’t see this world as it is … two people can look at and experience the same things and yet walk away with a completely different view. How does this happen? For most of us our view of life and the world has so much more to do with how we are inside rather than what is going on outside of ourselves.
“I could never do that!” Many times we see the actions of others and we declare that it isn’t us and we would never do that. Our responses for many things come from how we were wired as children. If we were trained a certain way, that becomes how we react and respond, part of the growing and maturation into adulthood comes when we learn to think for ourselves and process things for ourselves.
Generally speaking, loving people respond with love and angry hurt people respond with fear and anger. Our responses come from our world view, do we see the good or the evil in people and how much of what we see has to do with the world as it is versus the world as we are?
Loving people see love. As I watched the Bible TV series, I was reminded of this; no matter what Jesus encountered he turned it into good and into a lesson to be learned. It wasn’t that he didn’t see the persecution and the hate and fear; it was that he didn’t allow it to enter into his own heart.
When we are hurt by others, most of the time that is processed through the lenses of, “I would never do that!” and perhaps we wouldn’t. But the truth is that what they have done is only a slight if we allow it to enter our heart that way. Simply put hatred only continues if we take what is spewed and own it and then put more of it into the universe. I have learned to keep myself in check by pausing and thinking through all my responses. I start with am I responding out of love or out of fear? Because a response of love is a choice. Someone else’s venom and hate comes from their world view and is about them. It only enters our life and our hearts if we allow it to do so. “The core cause of anger is a lack of self-worth. Rage is an excruciating experience of powerlessness.” Gary Zukav
The day that I gave birth to my daughter was a day that my heart was filled with love, not just for her but for everyone in my family and in my world. Any hurts and grievances became past history. It was as if I was transformed out of my love for my daughter. I forgave everyone, everything. I had a similar experience the day that I buried my first husband. His death allowed me to love with such vulnerability and I forgave everyone everything. On both occasions I was my most beautiful loving self.
It shouldn’t take a birth or a death for us to operate out of a pure loving heart. These were my experiences and looking back it speaks to how I process and respond, someone else may have anger in a death situation or not be as open hearted in a new birth.
When my child was born, I could never have imagined not sharing it with my entire family, and I did. Recently a friend’s daughter had a new baby. She deliberately excluded her mother, the grandmother from being there. My friend is one of the most loving people and she is crushed. I know in my heart that part of her pain is because she, herself would never had done the same thing to her mother and family. This is a big decision to deny your mother access to you and your new born baby. How does this mother ever forgive such a deep hurt? Yet she must because otherwise it will be like a cancer that lives in her heart. Why would any daughter deny her biological parents this joyous occasion of a new addition to the family?
My friend is taking it all in and onto herself and yet it is her daughter who chose to shut the door on love. We respond to the world as we are and not necessarily as the world is, we do not control the actions of others. What other people do or don’t do is about them and not about us.
“Choosing not to act on an angry impulse and to feel that pain that lies beneath it is a very courageous thing to do.” Gary Zukav and Linda Francis
We can all make a case against anyone for anything both real and/or perceived if that is what we choose to do. But when we make that case, we need to look inside our own hearts and ask ourselves, what is really going on here? Why am I acting like this? What made me respond in this fashion? Why did I choose fear and hatred when I could just as easily have chosen love and acceptance?
Every one of us is a work in progress, but there are things that are universal and can work for everyone. If you want peace, be a peaceful person. If you want more love, give more love. Practice forgiveness so that when your time comes, you too will be forgiven.
Where we can’t control what other people do and say, we can control how we respond to it. And sometimes the very best response is no response at all. Their anger and their fight lives inside of themselves.
We don’t see the world as it is, we see the world as we are, anger and hate only become our reality if we allow it. Practicing loving responses and loving “as is” allows us to be loved “as is” and brings more love to us. What we put out into the universe is what is returned to us. We must remember that when we are faced with challenging situations and challenging people. Their stuff is their stuff and not ours; it speaks to and defines them and not us.
What would Jesus do? He would take the high road and respond with love. We must condition ourselves and learn to do the same.
Responding out of love is what we do for ourselves …