Know Yourself Love Yourself
By Bernadette A. Moyer
“To thine own self be true” Shakespeare
“Are you living a life that is more in tune with your “authentic” self who you were created to be or your “fictional” self who the world has told you to be?” Dr. Phil
It is so important to know yourself. In a world that is quick to judge and where people can be fickle in both love and hate, it is more important than ever to know yourself, understand yourself and to love yourself.
When you have lived in the same home for twenty one years you have collected many things. Cleaning out a home of twenty one years is no easy task and literally can be a “trip down memory lane.” In recent weeks I have come across so many things from the past. There are pictures and letters and cards and documents that represent our life in our home for over two decades. There are also the things that we brought with us and forward from our life before becoming a married couple and a family.
The history is rich with so much love and happiness and documented letters, notes and cards that prove that love existed. I came across hundreds of photographs that can tell their own story. Of course there was loss, disappointment and upset too.
There are drawings, report cards and letters of recommendation. Probably 95% of what was found was positive and upbeat and maybe 5% was upsetting. I don’t think we hold onto things that upset us like we do the things that make us feel good. Yet how often do we focus on what one negative person says or does to us and wipe away all that is good.
“The better you know yourself, the better your relationship with the rest of the world.” Toni Collette
The takeaway for me on this “trip down memory lane” has been that you have to know yourself. If you allow someone else, anyone else and their view of you to define you, you will become like a leaf flying in the wind. If they change their mind or their thoughts about you, you could easily find yourself in a different place at any different moment, depending upon their whim.
Where it is important to hear what other people say, it is most important to remember that much of what other people say and do is because of themselves and has very little to do with you. If you allow others to define you, and you do not define yourself, you can’t act surprised when that definition is ever changing according to another’s whim and self-serving means.
“If you know the enemy and know yourself you need not fear the results of a hundred battles.” Sun Tzu
Know yourself! Do not allow anyone else to define you, define yourself, only you know who you really are. People can and will turn on you if it serves them to do so. A divorce or a break up often pits one person against another, this same couple once professed undying love.
When someone that you once loved and they loved you too, turns against you, or away from you, that is about them and really has nothing to do with you. Most often people that do so do it for their own personal gain. Simply put, they are getting something out of it, or they wouldn’t do it.
When you are firm in whom you are, others unkind words and actions won’t hurt as much. Loving yourself is not arrogance or conceit, it means having a healthy regard for yourself knowing that you are a worthy human being.
To love yourself means to accept yourself as you are and to come to terms with those things that you cannot change. It means to have self-respect, a positive self-image, and unconditional self-acceptance.