It’s Not My Place to Judge

By Bernadette A. Moyer

One of the greatest gifts in getting older is a certain amount of wisdom that comes with age. I grew up in the In Search of Excellence by Tom Peter’s era and model for business success and for success in life. I was always striving for perfection and excellence. It was a natural extension of my belief system in having been raised in an Italian and Catholic family.

It seemed that nothing I ever did was good enough and I was always really hard on myself and on those closest to me. With age I have evolved with so much more love and acceptance. Most people really are doing the best that they can do. The best they can with what they know and what they have for that moment in time. In loving response, we know that we are good and we are good enough just as God created us.

Love real love is rooted in acceptance. In order for us to love, we must learn to love and to accept ourselves first and foremost.  With that love and acceptance we must learn the truth of whom and what we are and develop our own gifts and talents.  When we deny our gifts, our talents, our likes and our dislikes we are not living an authentic and honest life. People that are not true to themselves are seldom if ever happy nor can they or do they attract happiness.

In recent years I have learned that it is NOT my place to judge other people, people that may have a different lifestyle than my own. I have a strong belief in God and I am very much a spiritual person. Last week a politician came up and started talking to me when I was working a booth at a local festival. He assumed I shared his view on abortion and on same sex unions. It was obvious to me that I didn’t. I won’t judge what other people do in their personal life unless of course it is hurting someone else.

I am not gay and I don’t believe that abortion should take the place of birth control but I know people that are good people who love and show kindness for all people who are gay just as I know many who have decided an abortion is an appropriate decision for them at a time in their life.

One of the greatest gifts of aging and having been witness to years of life is the ability to accept more and to love more.  To understand that we are all unique and different and that we must be true to ourselves and only we can define what that truth is for our own selves.

There are many people that I know that are afraid to live true to themselves, their fear is very real as not everyone is going to love, to understand or to embrace them. How many of us want to be judged that way? How many of us are perfect or right and whose yard stick are we using to measure that?

I have an elder friend who happens to be a Catholic Sister; truly she is one of the wisest women I know.  She is also a very loving and accepting person with traditional Christian values. When I was having trouble with one of my teenagers she said, “Try and suspend judgment.”   

When we talked about a soup kitchen that allowed all guests to remain anonymous and did not judge them, you could feel her glee and her statements of “This is what Jesus would do!” he wouldn’t judge and he would accept all people and he would invite them all to the table to feed them.

There are so many Christians that I have known; they seem to have gotten away from WWJD (What Would Jesus Do) and instead they judge others and they judge them harshly.  

Who wants to live a less than authentic life that is NOT true to our own uniqueness? How wrong is it when we don’t allow for others to live the life that they know deep down inside defines them and who they are and who God made them to be?

Life is fuller and better and richer when we have love and acceptance for all people, not just those that are most like us.

It’s not my place to judge …