In The Eyes
By Bernadette A. Moyer
I just came from lunch with a good girlfriend; we talked endlessly for almost three full hours. She is a really positive upbeat person who also happens to be an elementary school teacher. Through the years I have attracted many friends who just happen to be teachers. I really like them. I think it is because they see the value in learning and don’t judge but see every misstep as the natural progression to exploration and learning. Often failure comes before success. They just seem wired to accept this as a fact of life. Most teachers really know how to lift you up and see the positive in people. My friend has been on her own journey in life and she has done so much work on bettering herself.
Our conversations are deep and most often about people, the human condition and our relationships. We are always seeking knowledge. Today she was so complimentary about me, my looks, my writing and my attitude. It is not hard to beam while in her company, and yet she shares how I lift her up and what value I add to her life. It caused me to pause and to reflect. I have people in my life that think the world of me and hold me in high regard, I have virtual strangers that read my work and tell me how I have helped them and inspired them. My inner circle of friends holds me in high esteem, they value me and I value them.
Then there are the haters, they go out of their way and put effort in hurting others. I started to think about divorce and how those same couples had to have felt some love and affection in getting married in the first place and in the very beginning of their relationship. These same couples go through a divorce only to try and destroy the very person they once professed to love? I’ve read that the opposite of love isn’t hatred but indifference. Indifference when you get to the place where you really don’t care, where there is no love nor is there any hatred.
"When you walk in love, you give up your right to be right." Joyce Meyer
In 1990 the movie Revenge came out, it was a story about “Jay” who just left the Navy after 12 years. He doesn’t know what he’s going to do, except he wants a holiday. He decides to visit a friend in Mexico, his friend Mendez is a powerful and successful but shady businessman. Jay is immediately surprised by the youth and beauty of Miryea, Mendez’s wife. The attraction between Jay and Miryea is undeniable, but Jay is aware of how powerful, vindictive and possessive his friend is, and that he is a man that does not tolerate betrayal.
The young attractive wife wants to have a baby with her husband but he denies her because he doesn’t want her to lose her beauty and her shape to birthing their child. Later, Jay and Miryea have an affair and when Mendez finds out his acts of revenge are directed toward both his wife and his friend Jay. He has them beaten. He goes even further and has his wife drugged and repeatedly raped. He is consumed with hatred, rage and revenge.
This is the wife that he wouldn’t even allow to become pregnant; but then has her beautiful face cut with knives and commands that she is to endure multiple rapes by strangers. What causes a person who once loved her to have such hatred and to seek out such a degree of revenge? Was there ever love there at all? Her crime was that she had an affair.
You can’t watch this film without wondering how love could become such hatred. We can only truly be hurt by the people that were close to us. Otherwise, we wouldn’t care.
“You always hurt the ones you love.” Has been a quote credited to a few different people and there are songs and lyrics that tout this same message.
It amazes me how one person can look at someone and see everything good and another person can look at that same person and declare them evil? Is it all in the eyes? How much of how we view other people has to do with how we see ourselves?