There was a time when countries showed each other some goodwill during the Eurovision Song Contest; when I, a seven-year-old, watched TV and was very much in love with Dana (All Kinds of Everything) from Ireland. Nowadays the song contest resembles a continuation of war by alternative means.

Every country has its tongue-in-cheek commentator. Moreover every country thinks this is unique to them, but other countries do irony as well.

The irony is directed towards other countries; their own entry receives – until the final score – enthusiastic commentary. So do the entries of neighbouring countries, provided they are smaller. In short, the motto is: putting your own song first.

Sounds familiar? Well, read Arnold Jansen op de Haar’s column.