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Singled Out (paperback)
Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After
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Paperback
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BOOK DETAILS

  • Paperback
  • Nov.14.2006
  • 9780312340827
  • St. Martin's Press

Bella gives an overview of the book:

Singled Out is a myth-busting, consciousness-raising, totally unapologetic take on singlehood. Drawing from decades of scientific research and stacks of stories from the front lines of singlehood, Bella DePaulo, Ph.D., debunks the myths and shows that just about everything you've heard about the benefits of getting married and the perils of staying single is grossly exaggerated or just plain wrong. Although singles are singled out for unfair treatment in the workplace, the marketplace, and the federal tax structure, they are not simply victims of this singlism. Single people really are living happily ever after. Filled with bracing bursts of truth and dazzling dashes of humor, Singled Out is a spirited and provocative read for the single, the married, and everyone in between.
Read full overview »

Singled Out is a myth-busting, consciousness-raising, totally unapologetic take on singlehood. Drawing from decades of scientific research and stacks of stories from the front lines of singlehood, Bella DePaulo, Ph.D., debunks the myths and shows that just about everything you've heard about the benefits of getting married and the perils of staying single is grossly exaggerated or just plain wrong.

Although singles are singled out for unfair treatment in the workplace, the marketplace, and the federal tax structure, they are not simply victims of this singlism. Single people really are living happily ever after.

Filled with bracing bursts of truth and dazzling dashes of humor, Singled Out is a spirited and provocative read for the single, the married, and everyone in between.

Read an excerpt »

Chapter One

Singlism: The Twenty-First-Century Problem That Has No Name

 

I think married people should be treated fairly. They should not be stereotyped, stigmatized, discriminated against, or ignored. They deserve every bit as much respect as single people do.

I can imagine a world in which married people were not treated appropriately, and if that world ever materialized, I would protest. Here are a few examples of what I would find offensive:

• When you tell people you are married, they tilt their heads and say things like “aaaawww” or “don’t worry honey, your turn to divorce will come.”

• When you browse the bookstores, you see shelves bursting with titles such as If I’m So Wonderful, Why Am I Still Married and How to Ditch Your Husband After Age 35 Using What I Learned at Harvard Business School.

• Every time you get married, you feel obligated to give expensive presents to single people.

• When you travel with your spouse, you each have to pay more than when you travel alone.

• At work, the single people just assume that you can cover the holidays and all of the other inconvenient assignments; they figure that as a married person, you don’t have anything better to do.

• Single employees can add another adult to their health care plan; you can’t.

• When your single co-workers die, they can leave their Social Security benefits to the person who is most important to them; you are not allowed to leave yours to anyone – they just go back into the system.

• Candidates for public office boast about how much they value single people. Some even propose spending more than a billion dollars in federal funding to convince people to stay single, or to get divorced if they already made the mistake of marrying.

• Moreover, no one thinks there is anything wrong with any of this.

 

Married people do not have any of these experiences, of course, but single people do. People who do not have a serious coupled relationship (my definition – for now – of single people) are stereotyped, discriminated against, and treated dismissively. This stigmatizing of people who are single – whether divorced, widowed, or ever-single -- is the 21st century problem that has no name. I’ll call it singlism.

 

 

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Note from the author coming soon...

About Bella

Bella DePaulo (Ph.D., Harvard, 1979) is a social psychologist and the author of Singled Out: How Singles are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After. It was published in hardcover by St. Martin’s Press in...

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Published Reviews

Feb.09.2008

Social psychologist Bella DePaulo’s book ...