"When we find that one person, that one love, we have found the physical manifestation of our Creator." Barbara Boyer, Courage of Fear.
When first reading this philosophy of relationships I thought it sacrilege really. I mean it had always been my understanding that if I put anything between me and god I would surely lose it. Yet as I dug deeper, read more about this philosophy, something wonderful began to unfold for me.
It all happened when I lost "the one", or whom I perceived to be the one. There I sat, balled-up, licking my wounds. . . trying to make sense of it all. Months past, time slipped by, and for the first time in my life I was unable to let go...me of all people? Unheard of... anyway like everything else in my life I HAD to make sense of it. I HAD to understand what happened. Not because of the loss of the relationship, more because of my inability to be able to let it go. So I did what I do. I read.
It was at this time I came across a book by Paramahansa Yoganada, "The Divine Romance." It was totally by mishap. With every corner I took my spirit weakened. I would walk to clear my mind. Passing the Self-Realization Fellowship I heard a service going on so I thought what the hell and went in. It was wonderful. After, I hit the bookstore--and there it was calling out to me. After its purchase I went to my favorite outdoor french bistro, ordered brunch, and opened its pages... and there it was this philosophy of a human romance being the physical manifestation.
I thought. Blasphemy! I thought. Ridiculous! I thought. The lightening bolt was sure to hit soon for me partaking in such hockis-pockis. I thought. My past relationships with men were indeed similar to my past relationships with my creator. I thought. Over the years my relationship with God had changed, like any relationship does over time. I thought. And so had my relationships with others. I thought. Hockis-Pockis, my ass. This guy was on to something.
As I read on Yogananda told the story of two relationships. One that worked and the other that did not work. He gave examples of one of the partners leaving town.
In the relationship that didn't work one could hardly wait for the other to leave. As the time grew closer so did that persons enthusiasm about their time apart. Then as the time grew closer for that person to return the anxiety grew stronger. Upon arrival the other was greeted with discourse.
Then there was the other couple. One was happy that the other was fulfilling their dreams, proud of their accomplishments. Although they would surely miss the other while apart, they were happy for their accomplishments and supportive of their journey. As the love and hugs were at their departure, so were they at their arrival... if i recall correctly it was as if they were greeting each other again for the first time.
So there I sat. Humbled in remembrance of my lost love over which i mourned so deeply--thinking of the time I was heading to Austin so his mom could come to visit; him excited about my departure--smiling, after a breakfast that was finally over.
Today may we see each other for the first time...or let go so someone else can.
So there you have it. That is how this quote in Courage of Fear came about in my life... you won't find this little tid-bit in Courage, just the quote.
btw... if you all like my daily blog... please get your behinds over to amazon, barnesandnoble and pick up a copy of Courage of Fear... Support your daily contributor friend, me. . . a girls got to eat and it is a good read! Tell all your friends too.
Have a grand day all. Peace.