Bored with bungee jumping, skydiving, or trying to survive the stock market? Ultime Realite offers adventures guaranteed to get the adrenaline pumping. Our $1,226 packages include being bound and gagged (number of hours negotiable). Bounty hunter? Kidnapper? Kidnap victim? Your choice. Or invent a scenario of your own. We pride ourselves on accommodating dreams, fantasies, nightmares (after all, we are French!), be they original or lifted from films, TV and novels. Our team of top-notch lawyers will handle any copyright infringement issues.
Enter the skin of a drug dealer in a speedboat. Fancy a helicopter chase? How about waking up in a morgue, on an autopsy table, surrounded by corpses and body bags, with a tag on your toe?
Each scenario is carefully and thoughtfully planned. Experience the Big Chill, the psychological shock! Ultime Realite is the ultimate gift, for yourself, a loved one or that special colleague.
Merge with your “character” until the line between real and imagined is impossibly blurred. Test -- even exceed! -- your limits. Our teams are subjected to rigorous selection and training. All activities will be filmed to ensure the best possible quality control. We’re the best at what we do. We average two requests a day, and we’ve only been in business since January!
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Ultime Realite is an actual company, based in eastern France.
I say, how about something a bit more protracted, an experience that builds the stress -- nay, terror -- incrementally over time, like writing an ambitious novel or a biography?
Ultime Litterature will lock you in a room -- just like Willy did to young Colette, just like Rolling Stone’s editors did to Hunter Thompson!-- until you get it done, and get it RIGHT. Presumably, it could take years! There’ll be good days and bad ones, but the anxiety will creep in on little cat feet, quietly building, until it sucks away all available oxygen -- guaranteed. Cost of food and basic toiletries included. Room with a view and/or special dietary requests are negotiable.
Experience the relentlessly blank walls; the ink-stained fingers and reams of foolscap, or the ever-mocking keyboard and its cohort, the insatiable printer (your choice); the unremitting sound of your own breathing!
Why wait? Call today and get started on that Pulitzer! Thanks to Ultime Litterature, procrastination will no longer be an option!
Causes Barbara Szerlip Supports