Take solace

Some days I am filled with sorrow for the world. I see so much in my job the sadness just fills me completely. Why have children if you are not willing or capable of giving them the love that they need and deserve? Why be angry with them when you brought them here? Why is it so easy for you to give up on them and give them away? Why hurt them because you don’t know how to cope with your own life? I feel so afraid for the world when these children become the adults who run the place. How do they even survive with so many obstacles stacked against them? How do they thrive when they have never felt loved by anyone? How do they ever become functioning, happy, healthy, members of society when all they have never known is hurt, betrayal and survival mode? These kids are filled with such pain, anger, hatred, and sadness, how do they ever let that go so that they can be loved and love in return? What will become of the world?
It makes me so sad some days. I am there to help them mend and pick up the pieces every time you disappoint them and destroy their sense of stability, I am there. But how can one person save them all?? I am only one person; and the way the system works I only put band aids on I offer no cure for the pain that they feel and always will. I can not fix them all... The system won’t allow it to happen, it is so broken and toxic that it will never be able to repair itself, let alone the children entrusted to its care. All I can do is offer hope to them and show them that there is another way to live, and they do not have to make the same mistakes of their parents and grandparents. Is that enough? I am so weary, if I do not have some sign soon that I am making a difference, I fear I will not be able to continue this work.

I take comfort in knowing that I have a home and someone who loves me. I don’t know how he handles my sadness and anger some days, but he always manages to make me smile. I vow I will cherish our relationship and I will not do anything to risk this special gift. I take solace in my family and friends. They understand that my work can be all consuming and they never complain of the lack of time I have for them. They understand why I must continue to do what I do and how very important it is. I take solace in my co- workers, their unending support always strengthens me, I admire their passion, kindness, compassion and creativity and being able to laugh with them makes things seem less hopeless. I take solace in my music, scrap booking, gardening, and my computer, they help distract me from the real world if only temporarily. I take solace wherever I can find it and I hold onto it for it provides me with the breath I need to continue.
TAKE SOLACE WHERE EVER YOU FIND IT,
AND HOLD ON TO THE PEACE IT PROVIDES.