no easy road

There is no easy road to take to gain wisdom and self acceptance. One must fight and fight and fight against the fears inside. One must learn to accept the mistakes one has made and to forgive oneself is truly the hardest thing to do. I can only take things one step and one day at a time. There is no way to explain where I have been or what has happened to me, but its been a journey of a thousand miles. I m learning to trust in God and myself to make things right. I gave until something inside snapped and then I was truly lost. I am learning that in order to love truly and honestly one must learn to love oneself and that is the test that this life is all about. Can you love yourself in spite of all that is wrong with you? Can you love God with all your heart? Can you love others with everything that is inspired by God's love for You? I know that God is a four letter word to some people but I can truly say that the only person I have left to trust and listen to my fears is GOD. And All I can do is pray that he will find a way, that he will light my way out of the darkness. It’s cold and lonely inside this pit of despair. If I believe I will than I will receive peace. I will Crawl, claw, dig, scrape my way back to the light. Just when I feel myself breathing again, is when I most need to fight against the dark night of my soul. I will not be lost to the madness inside, I will fight and keep fighting even if all others have lost faith in me and lost trust in me and do not believe in me, I will fight. I will remember who I am and what I am here for and I will take the road that will lead me back to love and sunlight. I will become the Man I am meant to be and serve whatever purpose I have been sent here for.