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WAITERING FOR GODOT 2, a skit

WAITERING FOR GODOT 2
by Sam Buckett

SCENE: THE KITCHEN OF A MAJOR METROPOLITAN RESTAURANT. WAITER ENTERS, SMILING AND REMOVING HIS APRON.

Waiter: Well, that's it for me. Not a bad night, but I'm beat. Time to get the hell outta here.

Manager: Sorry, hold on, but you need to cover for Godot. He's not here yet.

Waiter (exasperated): What! He's late again! Damn! That's the third time this week!

Manager: Yeah, I know. I wish I could fire him, but he's the owner's nephew.

Waiter: The owner's nephew, big deal!

WAITER EXITS WITH A EPITHET.

A BIT LATER. WAITER ENTERS KITCHEN, FRAZZLED.

Waiter: Has Godot come in?

Manager: Nope.

Waiter: Has he called?

Manager: I'm afraid not.

Waiter: Damn! I'm sick of this job. I'm dead tired and I need to go home and get some sleep.

Manager: You can't leave until Godot gets here. Now get back on the floor. We're packed. Go on!

Waiter (as he exits, muttering): Goddamn Godot! Wait'll I get my hands on him!

A BIT LATER. WAITER ENTERS KITCHEN.

Waiter: I'm exhausted. Where the hell is Godot? Has he called yet?

Manager: Not yet, but he should be here any minute. Just hang in there.

Waiter: Yeah right. Hang in there. I can't hold on much longer. That last table nearly killed me. Five drunks. One beer after another. And all those goddamn appetizers, back and forth, back and forth. "Waiter! Hey Waiter! Get us some more onion rings! Get us some more wings! Get us some more shrimp!" I'd like to shove a shrimp cocktail right down their goddamn throats! If Godot doesn't get here soon I swear I'm gonna -- !

Manager: Gonna what?

WAITER EXITS WITHOUT REPLYING.

MUCH LATER. WAITER ENTERS.

Waiter: Has . . . Godot . . . come . . . in . . . yet?

Manager: Not yet. But I think he'll be here any minute now.

WAITER COLLAPSES INTO MANAGER'S ARMS AND SINKS DOWN.

Waiter (as he slides to the floor, muttering): Godot . . . will be here . . . any minute now . . .

BLACKOUT.