Yesterday's poem by devorah major may seem straight forward at first glance, yet it's specific form needs special attention of the translator. The two first lines hold a surprize:
the world slowed with heat from the blaze of the sun
as he loped toward the bird in the haze of the sun
blaze and haze are what we call a masculine rhyme and try as I might, with the same content and connotation there is no sollution in Dutch. Thus I came up with an internal, softer feminine rhyme:
de wereld vertraagd door de hitte van de laai van de zon
toen hij soepel liep naar de vogel in de waas van de zon
I used 'laai' an old beautiful Dutch word for high flame and for haze 'waas'. So the attention is drawn to the two words, just as in the original. Further more five times devorah ends a line with sun, 'zon' in Duch. I had to reverse one sentence to get the same result.
Some poems use slang, jazz rhythms or scat ... Those are a major chalenge.
By the way, the bi-lingual book which will be the result of our colaboration is called:
rising tide breaking waves - wassend water brekende golven
published by world-internet-books