Today I have a guest blogger~ my son. He asked if he could write a blog post about the recent break-up with his girlfriend. With very little editing, this is his post. Remember your first break-up? ~ Annette
I like girls, a lot. I have dated a few girls here and there, but not for any extended period time. Then I met my last girlfriend.
She was great. She understood my quirkiness and all of my other weird antics. She could read me like a book, and I could do the same to her. She was the complete package except for one thing: I was her first boyfriend.
For the most part, a first boyfriend/girlfriend in this era means you “go out” for a short period of time, hold hands and most likely not kiss. You always get really attached to that person because you’ve never felt this way about someone before. For me, this experience happened freshman year.
I was her first, and she got really, REALLY attached. At first, I thought it was okay. But when she had to be in contact with me 24/7, I kind of got a little fed up.
I’m a seventeen year old guy, I need my space every once in a while. When I asked her to back off a little, she got very defensive and emotional. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind when a girl gets emotional sometimes, but not every day when I don’t get super duper happy when I see her.
She started throwing out phrases like “you’re the only one I’ll ever love” and “I’ll never love anyone besides you”. Then I legitimately got concerned. I'm the first guy you’ve ever dated, at age seventeen, and you think you’re going to love me for the rest of your life? Crazy talk! But, stupid as I was, I agreed with her.
I made that mistake only because I didn’t want to lose her. Then it hit me- this isn’t me. I'm not that guy. I can’t keep living in a lie. I need to tell the truth, and if she can’t handle it, then I think our relationship is over.
That decision was especially hard since we had been dating for seven months, longer than I had ever dated a girl. We talked it over for a few nights, and then made the decision to try and once more.
I tried, but I realized it wasn't going to work for me, I was just in too much of a funk. We talked the next day and that’s when I broke up with her.
That was probably one of the hardest things I have ever done. I felt awful for the whole day. The next morning, she tried to take shots at me and accuse me of lying. I redirected her to a Facebook status I saw earlier that day:
"Seriously girls quit whining about how guys are 'mean' and 'liars.' They aren't perfect and neither are you. Don't be in a relationship if you can't handle that."
It was a classic “first relationship” issue. You threw everything you had at me and I reluctantly accepted so we wouldn’t break up, but when you found out everything I said wasn’t entirely true, you blame me for every problem you have for the next three months. I have accepted the role of being the “jerk” and such, but those false connotations of me will wear off soon enough.
One quote I found really struck me with how true it is:
“Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together."
I hope I can still at least hold a conversation with this girl, but if not, I’ll move on. That’s just a part of growing up. The Who wasn’t lying when they said, “It’s only teenage wasteland”.
Causes Annette Talbert Supports
Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation, RIF (Reading is Fundamental),
Hands On Foundation, Dignity U Wear, Girls, Inc.