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Who's On Your List?
"Say Cheese"

What's life for, again? I always told my son that if anybody knew the answer to that question it would be all over the news, and as anybody with ears and eyes--no brain necessary--can attest, it is not all over the news. In fact, it's not even near the news. The Meaning of Life is not discussed anywhere, by anyone, as far as I can tell.

Instead, the talk is all about celebrities: Who got a boob job, which senator is gay, what superstar is divorcing his wife for his pregnant publicist, which publicist is gay, who sold what mansion for how much money, who's addicted to what drug, who's in rehab, who should be in rehab, what new 3-D action cartoon movies are coming out this summer, who gained 40 pounds, who lost 50 pounds, who has what disease and how close to death are they, what rock star is performing at the White House, which rap star got arrested for dealing, whose son or daughter crashed their car in a drunken midnight spree, which sports hero is an alcoholic, wife-abusing, child-molesting rapist on steroids, and what new form of money-making empire is Oprah starting next.

What's the big draw with celebrities? I don't have that gene--never did-- and it certainly gives me an odd perspective on things. For example, just the other night at dinner with my closest family members (my husband, his twin brother, and his brother's wife) the celebrity thing happened, albeit on a small scale.

We were enjoying quite an upscale meal at a new restaurant when one of our party, I truly forget who, said, "Look, there's Olympia Snowe!" The three of them stopped eating and turned and looked and craned and I will go all the way to gawked to glimpse this "famous person" as she was leaving the restaurant.  Naturally I kept eating and did not turn around because A) who the fuck cares and B) my food was yummy. They all repeated, this time with more urgency because she was getting away before I could see her, "It's Olympia Snowe, our state Senator!"

Okay, let's pretend I respected politicians: Did I have to actually see her in the flesh? Why? Am I greater if I see someone great? Who is "great," anyway? Aha, funny you should ask! I would turn my head and crane my neck and stretch my body to see the following people:
1. My dead mother, my dead father, in fact any one of my damn dead relatives who I never appreciated much until they died.
2. Any Beatle (even Ringo and especially John and George because they are, you know, also dead).
4. My son, since he's supposed to be in Vermont; I'd wonder what the heck he's doing here and how come he didn't call.
5. God.

That's it. Who's on your list?