expat+HAREM loves to consider how our mindset changes our place in the world. Today we’re talking with wise living coach Tara Sophia Mohr about how we can actualize our larger worldview.
TAPPING INTO OUR BIGGEST SENSE OF SELF e+H: Tara Sophia, thanks for joining us today. With globalization and the rise of the social web, the globe is shrinking and our world of operation is expanding. Now far flung, non-mainstream people are no longer invisible or cut off from the action. However, having world-class ideas may not translate into big actions. What kind of training might we need to step out onto that larger stage?
TSM: I think we can be hard on ourselves for not playing big – we know we’re stuck in self-doubt or fear and aren’t really “going for it.” But we shouldn’t be tough on ourselves.
The truth is, for most of us, playing big doesn’t happen naturally.
We need tools and support:
- Help to clarify what playing big means to each of us, to distill: what’s my calling? What are the ideas I want to come forward with?
- We need tools to deal wisely and effectively with fear and the inner critic.
- We need practical skills – in things like negotiation, pitching/self-promoting, and communicating effectively – the skills that actually allow us to play bigger in the world.
- We need stories and models from other women who are playing big.
- Lastly, we need support – a likeminded community that champions us in playing big. My experience in my own life and with my coaching clients is that it’s that recipe – having some of each of these five things – that allows us to really play big.
MAKING LIMBO A PRODUCTIVE STATE e+H: You talk about "making fear our travel companion". The limbo state is familiar to hybrid lifestylers here at expat+HAREM. We’re neither here nor there, and it’s not going to get clearer any time soon. How do you suggest we embrace our new vision for ourselves and our world without succumbing to the uncertainty?
TSM: Personally, I think of fear like this: you know when you are driving your car on the highway, and there’s some guy driving right alongside you in the next lane over? Maybe he’s leaning out his window, or veering close to your car, doing something distracting. It’s annoying, you are aware of it, it’s unpleasant, but…he’s not really in your way.
If you can keep your focus on your destination, and remain conscious of the fear but not distracted by it, you’ll get where you want to go.
Fear can be like this: present, uncomfortable – but not actually stopping us.
Living in that relationship to fear depends on
- expecting fear --- knowing that if you really go for it in living your authentic life, leading, sharing your voice, fear will arise
- learning how to distinguish helpful fears (those that protect us from real danger) from over-reactive ones, and
- getting used to feeling the fear and going forward in anyway.
SEEING THE POSSIBILITIES ARE GREATER THAN WE THOUGHT e+H: Tara Sophia, thanks for spending some time with expat+HAREM! We’ll share leads to your work and your new pro development program below. Now a question for our readers -- how are you stepping out onto a larger stage? What are your obstacles, and how are you overcoming them?
Learn more about Tara’s women's leadership and professional development program "Playing Big" which aims to activate your voice, help you own your power, and amplify your impact (we’re proud to be affiliates, can you tell?). It promises to be part ultra-contemporary bootcamp training for the tactical skills of communication and negotiation, and part innerwork to help you take positive action around your vision of yourself on a larger stage.
Complimentary: get her 10 Rules for Brilliant Women ebook and workbook.
Causes Anastasia Ashman Supports
Vipassana Meditation Instruction (dhamma.org) Ashoka Organization of Social Entrepreneurs (ashoka.org)