Psychologists recently announced studies that claim divorce is contagious. You and your spouse are more likely to split if people close to you divorce. Honestly, this seems unlikely to me. Tales of friends splitting make me hug my husband tighter and be glad that we're still happy together.
And I've certainly been hugging him more lately. Facebook puts a harsh light on the marital problems of our oldest friends, students, family and projects them for all to see. Airing your problems on Facebook is a mistake. And inevitable.
For some reason, reading about splits online feels more invasive, personal, and permanent than hearing it on aisle nine picking up Cheerios. A few of the couples have fought via wall commenting. This feels like being forced to be in the same room as they destroy the marriage that produced three kids, a business, a home. It sucks. But it also has the addictive power of Nascar pile ups.
I get that some airing has to be public. When you drop your married name and change your status to "single," it may be uncomfortable for others but necessary for you to be who you've become. I don't want to stand in the way of someone else's journey.
Maybe I'm just uncomfortable that all of these couples who married around the same time we did have given up on their love experiment. I guess I didn't believe the 50% divorce rate until now. I mean I used to rationalize it, "People who divorce are more likely to remarry and divorce again skewing the statistic; the divorce rate also includes all the people who married too young and stupid." Of course, I know now I married too young and stupid. Most people do. I just got lucky.