where the writers are
Captain's Blog - Stardate July 18, 2008

Back on earth, in the bosom of my family - I was just joshing about the light-speed effects - that was all proven to be wrong two centuries ago - in fact, I lifted most of the ideas from "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy", which lifted them from Einstein, who lifted them from...etc. Since mandatory sterilization after a second child was introduced, the population has remained stable at 12 billion - life-expectancy limits were lowered again recently(to a maximum of 200 years) to prevent the carrying capacity of the planet being exceeded. That only leaves me 40 more years, but I've had a good innings, as they say. Number two has only 12 years left - hard to credit what daily botox, buckets of hair dye and annual cosmetic surgery can achieve - I think that dreadful beard is the only thing holding his face together, frankly - he's the Wayne Newton of Star Trek command (without the prodigious talents, obviously).  

Long day today - just got back from doggie ER - my dog apparently ate a big, sharp rock, which is now lodged in her small intestine - she's having surgery right now. Pound for pound(no pun intended), this rock is gonna cost more than crack cocaine. I know she's a dog an' all, but what the hell is the attraction of swallowing a lump of rock - it can't be easy to do, and it's not like I starve her or anything? I guess this is what separates us from animals - you know, not swallowing rocks and the like. Or drinking from the toilet. Or eating from the cat-box. Or snacking on horse-manure. Either that or the opposing thumb and forefinger thing. Whatever. We still love them, despite the odd habits, if you want to know the truth of it - even though that sounds kinda flitty.This stuff just kills me, I'm not kidding.... 



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I hope your dog is okay--let me know how the surgery goes. It is always expensive...



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She seems to be okay -I'm

She seems to be okay -I'm gonna put the rock in a sock and hit her on the head all night until I get my money's worth....could take a while...you know I'm kidding...it looks like a bloody arrowhead,,,,