I have to work. If I don't have, like, 23 projects on my docket, I get itchy. Right now, I'm helping four people write their memoirs and three people write their novel, in addition to two novels of my own. That's only nine projects. I need 14 more, or else I'll have too much spare time on my hands, and start blogging about my favorite cereals, or why the Chicago Bulls should trade Kirk Hinrich's white ass, like, yesterday. So please, if you need something ghosted, write me at AlanWrites@cs.com. I'll do you right, unless you happen to be project #24, because everybody has their breaking point.