where the writers are


Check Please! is a TV show filmed in San Francisco, for the local - my salad is a work of art - crowd. Four members of the eating-out public sit around a table with a slightly plump sexy host, reviewing local eateries. Glasses of wine add to the feel up, as the reviewers whip their words into a critical flan. It beats a food blog. Mouth watering dishes are filmed with clean hands serving. The gourmet ghetto of Bay Area dining is carved up for your TV consumption. But what of the food places where the salad prepper forgets to wash his hands after the toilet, or the cook who tosses a steak into a pan after scraping the moss of the top. Here's how the show would go.

Host: Well Alan, how was your visit to Sizzler last night?

Alan: It was interesting, almost artistic really (sips expensive wine) My toilet bowl could be in a museum of Jackson Pollocks. Yes, a phantasmagorsmicaca of riot, and what choices at Sizzler! I tried the beans and they blew me away! The dessert was world class, great gloops of gosh. I thoroughly enjoyed sitting on the throne for twelve hours, it prepared me for my next long distance flight in a cramped seat.

Host: Wonderful.