It's time to bring back Prohibition, at least in a limited form. There should be a total ban on vodka and Redbull, a mixture that has brought utter chaos to the conversational bar scene. The other night I watched a couple wolf down numerous grain and energy combos. Soon their conversation was demolishing modern sentence structure like a German Panzer Division blasting holes in Warsaw. The conversation was bombed with modern linguistic munitions, the "like" bomb fell in huge quantities. And I had to endure listening to this blitzkreig of crap. There was no escape, no bunker to hide in. Finally, I told them I was not serving them anymore vodka and Redbull. They were unimpressed, became aggressive and called me an Irish asshole.
This is what happens when you mix Austrian potions with Russian madness. Didn't these Americans know anything about the violent history of Europe? Had they not heard of the Anschluss or the Stalinist purges? It was insane to mix the two together. My intervention was justified, there would be no appeasement in this bar, no bar napkin with the words "peace in our time," being fluttered around. Redbull is the most dangerous of drugs, worse than heroin! It was a little reported fact that the guy who shot up the college recently, left three empty cans of Redbull besides his suicide note. Or that a famous English soccer player, Paul Gascoigne, was admitted to a rehab facility for drinking fifty cans of Redbull a day!