The story of Joséfine
Written by Alain Yaovi M. Dagba
Joséfine was a pretty girl, black skin, hazel eyes, and of rare beauty. She came from a family of great reputation and was the pride of all her relatives. She also had a good school career and had just come to the age of marriage.
Joséfine was also the singer most admired of her church. She was the favorite of her pastor who often presented her in his sermons as an example for all young girls to follow.
When her pastor was approached by her parents about her marriage, Joséfine already had her eyes on another man in the church. After the pastor made his choice and consulted Joséfine about it, Joséfine gave him a confession that she already liked another.
The pastor immediately, and without wishing to force Josefine’s heart towards another, called on the man in question. The man instantly agreed to become the husband of Joséfine. He was of the same reputation as Joséfine, like Joséfine, he was highly respected in the church. He had great successes in his life and was the object of desire of a lot of girls.
The marriage took place successfully and with much noise. The two families were so happy and had returned home with satisfaction that the couple will live certainly happy. But there was one problem.
The problem there was, was that the husband was suffering from a certain character issue similar to an extreme anger or rage. The first time he had beaten Joséfine due to a misunderstanding, she thought it was just an act that was to pass. The husband immediately apologized to Joséfine who had become more reassured that the act was just an incidence.
However, the husband again and again hurt her. He now beats Joséfine almost every week. Since Joséfine wanted to keep a clean image of their marriage before their parents and the church, she dared not ask for help. She hid the truth from even her best friend, since she had so glorified the man before this friend in the past.
Joséfine made sure she kept her apparent glow with make-ups and made sure that no trace of the hell she was living in her marriage is seen outside. She knew how to hide her pain. She played the game well. The truth was hard to see, since the belief that both are role models has dominated so many people’s minds. Sometimes admiration could kill the spirit of discernment.
The domestic torture was now at its peak. Joséfine was now beaten to blood. The disease of character the husband was having or the rage, has gotten worse. Anytime he will finish beating up his wife, he will kneel down and ask for her forgiveness. But the next day he will start over with the same behavior. Joséfine was still hiding the truth about her marriage. Joséfine was still praying that things will change and that the husband will get better by the power of the Holy Spirit, as she was always taught.
One day the evil drama overflowed. The husband struck Josefine's belly so hard. He kicked her in the stomach so hard that she fell unconscious for a few minutes. After this event, Joséfine decided to give a damn to what others may say and decided to file for a divorce. When she threatened the husband with this idea, he made her understand that she was about to offend God with the idea of divorce and that marriage was for life until death.
Joséfine did not know what to do. She was afraid of hell after death if she filed for a divorced. “God hates divorce”, the husband repeatedly told her. Joséfine is unaware of the fact that she was already living in hell in this marriage. Joséfine then agreed to stay in the house until her death as a good Christian happens, by concluding within her that it was her cross to take and carry like did Jesus.
While they were at dinner, one night eating, another conflict happens in their discussion; and the husband asks Joséfine if she still loved him as before. Joséfine answered honestly with a no. The anger of the man arose. He gave a slap to Joséfine. Joséfine yelled so loud, left the house that night running, not knowing where she was going. She found herself next to a lake that was not too far from their house.
She sat by the lake and contemplated the idea of suicidal. Suddenly she heard a voice behind her: "Why are you hurting so badly?" She turned and saw an old man sitting under a tree not far from where she was. "My name is Agape," said the old man. "I come here often to meditate in the evenings. Tell me darling, your story. "
After Joséfine finished telling her story, a friendly dialogue started between them.
Agape: Why don’t you divorce this man?
Joséfine: I cannot. God is against divorce.
Agape: God hates divorce only if there is marriage.
Joséfine: What do you mean? Am I not married?
Agape: I do not think so.
Joséfine: Explain yourself?
Agape: long before men will create legal and religious institutions, marriage existed in the heart of God; and before all civilizations, God has only one conception of marriage. The same conception remains today.
Joséfine: And how God designed this marriage in his heart?
Agape: Marriage is a spiritual thing. Legal papers and religious contracts are physical things. What is physical will never give birth to what is spiritual. This is the opposite. The papers are not the truth of marriage before God’s eyes. The design of God for marriage is born out of truth and does not depend on the products of our civilizations. What is flesh is born of the flesh. What is spirit is born of the spirit.
Joséfine: Explain better.
Agape: If two people are united in marriage without real love, but for other reasons, they were not married. On paper they are. Before men they are. But before God they are not. God is spirit. Marriage must be done in spirit and in truth to be conformed to the design in the mind of God. Tell me my daughter; did you really love this man before you marry him?
After a long period of deep crying and vomiting, Joséfine confessed that she did not love the man. She confessed that in her choice she obeyed the advice given to her by her mother who always told her to marry a man of a great family, good reputation and with great wealth. She also confessed that she wanted to keep the image of the exemplary girl before her pastor and before the whole church.
Agape: You see my daughter. Pride is the cause of your suffering. As long as this pride will remain in your heart, you will suffer. It is this same pride which prevented you from asking for help and to hide the truth and even from your friends.
Joséfine: How then should I do? Divorce him?
Agape: Once again my daughter, we do not talk of divorce if a marriage is not born of the spirit and of truth: Love. God is love. A marriage based on love is based on God.
Getting married is to realize God and this is becoming one with the person we love. This union, even the prayers of the bishops and pastors upon the couples cannot create it. It is a sacred thing. It's a mysterious mystery, yet it brings joy and happiness in marriage. And this love must be mutual.
Between you and this man, there was never a marriage according to the divine design; so we can’t speak of divorce. Since you are not married, I advise you to leave him.
The real marriage happens sometimes even before the couples present themselves before the legal and religious institutions. That's why I say it's a mysterious mystery. The real marriage can even come after the legal and religious ceremonies. It is mystical when it happens. It comes as a thief in the night.
Many were married for several years before men, and then became married before God after years of living together. They eventually get to know and accept each other in spirit and in truth. It is a phenomenon of the spirit to be truly united.
Humans are not physical after all, but spiritual. They are spirits and their unions must be done in spirit and in truth through love. Love is the only true marital contract.
There are also couples who signed divorce papers, but still love each other. Before men they are no longer together, but they are always before God in marriage. God sees our hearts and not appearances. The divorce God hates is the desire of wanting to separate or separate what is united by love. That which is united by love no man shall seek to separate it, because God is love and it is a sin not only against God but against all cosmic laws, because the entire creation is united and sits in the energy of love. God is love.
Now my daughter, I must leave you, because the sun will rise soon and I have to go to the mosque to pray.
After listening to the words of the old man, Joséfine wept deeply and asked God to forgive her. When she returned home, the man was sleeping. She took the time to write a farewell letter and placed it on the dining table.
She left the same evening. She went to her parents and told her story. She had no more shame left to hide anything. She overcame her pride that was taking strength from her fear of what others will say. Her parents went to see the pastor of her church and told him the whole story.
The man did not return to church. Two years later, Joséfine married another man she loved and who loved her very much. She had a good home and happy union with him, but she could not have children because of this blow the first man gave her in the stomach which made her bleed intensively.
This is the story of Joséfine, and may someone learn something from it and share it with others.