'Author's Husband Clone' application - Bug fixes and current issues
Following the discussion on the Red Room blog, "How to sell your wife - Tips for partners of authors" where a request was made for an Author's Husband Clone application, I am pleased to announce that the prototype for this is under development and should be available sometime soon, after all bug fixes have been completed.... which may be never.
At present, the prototype is undergoing further testing and bug fixes. Today's bug fix report is as follows: -
1. The audio recognition seems to fail when the prototype is engaged in computer games, writing blogs or after 3 minutes of discussion. The fix for this is proving unstable and further work is required.
2. The communication synthesizer has a known issue when tasks are listed for immediate execution. The unit states "Just one more minute" in a repetitive loop for several weeks in some cases.
3. The "Start housework" command results in a fatal error and the unit needs to be reset several times before attempting the command again.
4. The humour module is severely under-developed. Unit becomes confused and laughs at own jokes rather than other people's.
5. The timer for the 'Task management' module is faulty. Most notable faults include:
- Unit will take the author's plate to clean during meal times before the author has finished eating
- Unit turns off room lights when exiting a room, leaving the author in complete darkness. Possible fault may not be the timing unit. Evidence suggests that the fault may actually lie in bug fix number 4.
6 The prototype has a peculiar need that cannot be found in the programming. It needs to wear boxer shorts and the same 5 year old Homer Simpson t-shirt during most home based tasks.
7. The prototype's decision making and logic board appears to be bypassed whenever the visual recognition unit scans any item that has "Special offer" or "Reduced price" resulting in the purchase of 162 rolls of toilet paper, 260 tins of baked beans, 74 x 2 litre bottles of Cherry Coke and a large bag of Mintoes which neither the unit or the author likes to consume.
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Ivory Madison says:
Laughing out loud
Ryoma,
This is hilarious. In my case, my Author's Husband literally fixes bugs on Red Room that benefits thousands of authors. I may have the most advanced model out there. I think it's a Dutch manufacturer.
Mine also, while having some of the bugs you mention above ("Unit turns off room lights when exiting a room, leaving the author in complete darkness," for example), it does not have the housework glitch.
In fact, my Author's Husband seems to have come somehow equipped with a full series of homemaking programs more advanced than Author's, including a chef module that sometimes uncontrollably makes baked goods, especially muffins and pancakes, regardless of appropriateness.
Ivory Madison
Founder and CEO, Red Room
Ryoma Collia-Suzuki says:
Haaa!
Glad it gave you a chuckle, Ivory. Hehehe.
Yes, your Dutch model is obviously of superior manufacture and design. Very impressive indeed! The Japanese model referred to in the blog can't even heat a tin of soup without a potential fire emergency (this happened last week!). Amazingly, the unit continues to 'prepare' food for his author everyday. I'm astounded that his author is still alive. Haha.
The housework glitch is one of the major fixes that will hopefully be sorted out over the next few days. :)
Boudreau Freret says:
QA is still working on #7
It is my (limited) understanding that quality assurance is working on #7: apparently, there is disagreement between the development team and QA as to whether this is a bug or a feature.
For example, if someone (I don't know who, we'll just, for the sake of this illustration, choose me) happens to like Mentos and Cherry Coke (though not together) and has developed a lifelong affinity for toilet paper and baked beans (and those two do go together), and this person (me) plans an extended visit with Author and Author's Husband / Author's Husband Clone, then it would make sense why #7 would be a feature.
To help another.
Excellent work, Ryoma. Outstanding!
Ryoma Collia-Suzuki says:
Hi Boudreau!
Thanks for reading and commenting. It's much appreciated.
Yes, I keep insisting that this is a positive feature and not a bug that requires fixing but, as it should be of course, the author is always correct and she-who-must-be-obeyed has insisted that this bug be fixed soon. :)
Thanks for your kind words. All the best to you.
Nina Amir says:
I'll wait for the updated version
Ryoma,
Very funny! I'll wait for the updated version of your clone! I'm sure you'll come up with a good model very soon. I can wait...
Nina
Ryoma Collia-Suzuki says:
Hi Nina
Haha, glad you like it. :) Well, the work on the prototype has taken nearly 23 years and the bug fixes continue on a daily basis so we shall have to see how long it takes to get an almost working model. ;)
Thanks for responding!
Nina Amir says:
That's called personal development not cloning...
Ryoma,
I think that's called "personal development" not "cloning." I figure if you can come up with one good working prototype with no bugs, you've done a better job than most of us--especially after just 23 years. I'm working on 49+ and I think I find more bugs each year (speaking for myself, that is, not my husband). So, when the bugs are fixed, you can turn to cloning. As I said, I'll wait. I'm patient. but remember...I'm not getting any younger.
Ryoma Collia-Suzuki says:
Personal development
On a serious note, I love what you are saying. Yes, personal development is very important. A few months ago there was a blog (it could have been one of mine actually LOL) where I suggested that 'desire' is a key to a full life. By desire, I mean at the most basic level - a desire to learn, to experience flavours and aromas rather than just eating for sustenance, desire to create, to find or be happy, to wake up and seize the day, a desire for life itself. I think that this all leads to our personal development, day by day.
Sorry, rambled there for a moment! Hehe.
Vicki Nikolaidis says:
Maybe we should reconsider the clone
Hmmm, maybe I am now willing to support manufacturing a new clone model after careful consideration today.
Don't know about you all, but Ivory's husband baking proclivity sounds like heaven!
So Ivory
by the way
what does your husband wear when he is around the house?
(This could be a deciding factor in production go-ahead, do you agree Huntington?)
:-)))
Ivory Madison says:
Before I get in trouble...
...I will focus on the baking question, since I think my husband looks handsome whatever he's wearing. Baking-wise, he has several specialties, including milk-chocolate-chip whole-grain pancakes, and various muffins and cookies. He recently made a sticky toffee cake that was pretty amazing.
He also likes making several-course holiday and special event dinners that take several hours and use every pot and pan and plate in the entire house. Somehow, he is able to do this in addition to working full-time for Red Room, and having other clients, not to mention singing in a choir and rowing. I am only able to do my job and a little writing and that's it. I seem to have about 100 waking hours to get things done, he seems to somehow find about 150.
Our house always smells like bacon and/or cookies. Sometimes like burnt bacon or burnt cookies, but I consider myself lucky.
Ivory Madison
Founder and CEO, Red Room
Vicki Nikolaidis says:
He is talented husband!
I agree you are fortunate Ivory AND I think your husband is fortunate too! He must think so too cause it sounds like he's trying to spoil you!
Nina Amir says:
With all that cooking...
I'd never get anything done, and I'd weigh a lot more, too! I'd have a lot more excuses to take tea and snack breaks from my desk as well. I suspect that with a husband like yours, Ivory, I might never get any work done at all (for lots of reasons)...so, I think I'll pass on a clone of him, although he sounds really lovely, don't get me wrong!
I must admit my husband does cook...and clean...and fold laundry while I work. And he makes the majority of the money in our household. And he drives the kids here and there and leaves me here in my office working many weekends...rarely complaining.
So, maybe I shouldn't complain.
I know! We need to figure out how to make a clone of the best parts of all of our husbands and spend time with them as our book marketing/writing support hubbies! Anyone know how to accomplish that feat? If you can do that, we can help Redroom get really rich from the profits. I'd surely purchase one.
Ryoma Collia-Suzuki says:
Amazing Abe!
It looks like we need to go back to the drawing board, with Abraham as the blueprint, and create a whole new Author's Husband Clone with extras, like Nina has suggested. LOL!
Ryoma Collia-Suzuki says:
Thanks to Ivory
for suggesting the photo for this blog which I tweaked into a Ryoma Clone. Hehe.
Huntington W. Sharp says:
Pure genius
I love the photo-shopped Ryoma-trooper. It might interest you to know that one of the features of the Abe-App is a propensity for playing the anthemic works of John Williams (including the Imperial March), around the Red Room office, so this image fits quite well.
Huntington Sharp, Red Room
Ryoma Collia-Suzuki says:
Hi Huntington.
I think that the new suggested prototype, Abe-App, looks like a winning Red Room formula for success, and a profitable one too. I just hope you'll be able to reverse-engineer his coding without too much discomfort to Abe. It could prove to be... intrusive. Hehehe.
Stephanie Watson says:
Lmao! This is genius! <3 xxx
Lmao! This is genius! <3
xxx
Ryoma Collia-Suzuki says:
Haaa!
Thanks Stephanie. :)
Vicki Nikolaidis says:
Maybe we should turn this into a contest accepting proposals.
Maybe we should turn this into a contest accepting proposals for best husband clone design . . .
or maybe we should just pool together travel money and borrow Ryoma sometimes.
Nina Amir says:
Ryoma Training
I've got an idea! Instead of a clone or travel money to borrow Ryoma, how about a Ryoma Training program. He trains other husbands in the fine art of selling their wives! Watcha think? My daughter thinks a better endeavor would be to steal Ivory's husband and have him teach all our husbands how to cook... We could put them both to use, training our husbands, I suppose.
Ryoma Collia-Suzuki says:
Training
Thanks Nina,
I've really enjoyed our laugh but on a serious note I've just put a response related to this in the original blog that started all of this (http://www.redroom.com/blog/ryoma-collia-suzuki/how-sell-your-wife-tips-...). I sincerely hope that by opening dialogue between those who are want to help their authors but don't know how, and their beloved authors, that people will find (fun) ways of working together. This would be because they want to help but don't know how.
As for training, I touch on this in my response on the other blog. I feel that communication and willingness are the first steps, and that is what the blog is essentially about. :)
Nina Amir says:
Serious Note
Yes, Ryoma,I saw your other comment, and I responded on a more serious note. You've done a great job of raising the consciousness of what spouses or partners need to do (if they want) to support their writers/authors. Plus, you've offered wonderful tips and set a superb example for others to follow. I commend you for that. And thanks also for giving us a chance to laugh and have fun at the same time.
Ryoma Collia-Suzuki says:
Thank you, Nina
Your kind words mean a great deal. I really appreciate it. :) It's been a good laugh though! And that's an important part of this too. :)
Vicki Nikolaidis says:
advice to partners of authors
I do like Nina's idea of coaching partners/husbands though.
I might suggest my husband contact you with any questions after his bathroom reading. (He says he reads so much for work when he's at home he has to take a break from reading.) He told me he hasn't read your blog yet (which I printed out and placed on top of two rolls of toilet paper) but he said he would read it soon. Which was also probably the first non-work exchange we have had for many months!
Thanks Ryoma for great blog.
Seriously my biggest supporters are my daughters and they enjoy your practical ideas. :-)
And to Gina and everybody thanks for all the fun!!
Ryoma Collia-Suzuki says:
Thanks for making this blog so much fun
Thanks for making this blog so much fun, Vicki. Your family sounds wonderful, warm ad full of love. I bet you spend a lot of time laughing. :)
I have been a workaholic (even diagnosed by a doctor! Haha.) and I know how consuming it is, for everyone involved. I wish you all the best.
Thanks again for adding again to this humble blog, Vicki. I never take any responses for granted, it's always appreciated more than I could ever convey in a posted response. :)
Vicki Nikolaidis says:
My pleasure!
Ryoma, it's my pleasure!
We do laugh a lot.
And make quite a ruckus when we go out but have not yet been kicked out of anywhere, thank goodness.
Wherever you see a touristy spot with lots of Northern Europeans, we are the loud ones everyone else is rolling their eyes about! I'm the loudest so my daughters' fun and rowdy genes must come from their Iowa side of the family.