I have been locking horns with Mr. Data again - he's been wrestling once again with some of the thornier points of Cartesian metaphysics, god bless his little android heart. He seems particularly confounded by category mistakes -he seems unable, for instance, to be able to grasp the notion of heroism - instead reducing it to what he considers to be the situational and physical components inherent within a given scenario - for example, when an enemy threatens you, you respond, using all of the strategy, manpower and weaponry available to you, in order to force a favorable situational outcome - in this case, victory. It would never occur to him that various factors which influence an individual or group's behavior come into play in such a scenario.

In an attempt to illustrate this(to him) intangible quality, I challenged four ensigns to ask Gaia for a date - and then to follow through if accepted, up to and including - how can I put this - congress. Two of them immediately committed ritual suicide, and one of them is now confined to the secure ward of the medical facility, after tearing off all of his clothes and catapulting himself against the bulwarks until he sustained a major injury. One fellow, however, was up to the challenge - a young ensign from the Tyrelean Nebula - they're famous for making ridiculous headwear and very durable footwear, among other things.. anyhow... upon seeing the poor fellow the next day, gibbering to no-one in particular and holding his head at what I can only describe as a Long John Silver angle, I believe Mr. Data made a breakthrough - he pinned a medal on the poor fellow's chest, and (even though he immediately ate it) he seemed grateful for the recognition.

We'll make a human of him yet...