Humor
November 4, 2009
- The puppy is a sorbet. “What breed’s that?” you ask. “Anything like a bichon? I thought she was a Doberman.” Well, yes, that she certainly is. What I mean to say is that I write about the puppy as a personal sorbet, a palate cleanser between dealing with the ‘big stuff.’ War, disease, death, destruction, the government, personal angst, global warming. To ...
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November 3, 2009
- The puppy is a glutton for candy corn. I mistakenly toss her a couple kernels from the seventy-five-percent-off Halloween sale bag and it’s an instant addiction. Quick, dial the support group! She craves More! More! More! The normal doggie repertoire of tricks --- sit, lie down, roll over, give paw --- has always been terribly beneath her, but now she lurches into a ...
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November 2, 2009
- Halloween is a national holiday here in San Francisco. This isn’t simply because people get to dress in sexy costumes borrowed from their wives’ closets or purchased at one of our local leather emporiums. Yes, it is a time when people get to come out of their shell and walk around the streets of a major city expressing their inner slut, but there is more to it than that. It’s really about ...
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November 1, 2009
- Got confused by the recent political Town Hall Tea Parties. For one thing, no one served tea. But a lot of yelling about health and insurance. Well, then, they should have serrved tea, a great source of antioxidants, especially if you drink green tea. The Cleveland Tea Party, of course, was a great symbol of American spirit, when we tossed, at the behest of the coffee lobby, all that damn ...
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October 31, 2009
- Over the weeks, I've had guest calling parked at the side of the road, guest calling from up in the mountains or on a trail through the wilds. I've had guests from Canada and England, however today my show with Courtney J Webb was something different. Courtney is in Australia, and with the aid of a bottle of Prune Juice (that could cause some issues later on) joined the show at 2am in the ...
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October 30, 2009
- It has been a very, very long time (four months) since I wrote about the assault of the pigeons on the West coast of this great land, and in particular on the light well outside my kitchen, and no doubt many of you have wondered about the status of this epic battle for the soul of America. My sense is you have all been holding your breath, terrified that these pernicious monsters were winning and ...
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October 29, 2009
- The third time I showed up to grade school in the same costume, my friends started to wonder if my mother was nurturing a secret fascination with witches. As I once again stood awkwardly before my second grade classmates in my dyed bed sheet turned dress, raggedy wig, and black hat that had miraculously survived a run-in with the neighbor’s cat the year before, they shook their heads. My ...
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October 28, 2009
October 28, 2009
- Have you seen the movie Dear Frankie? I have, several times, but then I'm a sucker for fairy tales. I really loved it. But you be your own judge. We Americans are supposed to use the English subtitles to understand the Scottish accent, but I've watched my Hamish MacBeth enough times to not need to.I was so impressed by the LACK of words. How, as a writer, can I write like that? There ...
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October 27, 2009
- People often ask me why I wrote How to Play the Harmonica: and Other Life Lessons. This is a tough question, because there were several reasons:I wanted to make billions of dollarsI wanted to be more famous than Paris HiltonI wanted to stop the human race from destroying itselfNow that I have accomplished these goals I could sit back, put my feet up, and heave a big, self-satisfied sigh. I could ...
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