toilet | toilet
Apr.28.2013
My wife and have been married twenty-four years.
That's kind of a long time, you know? When I really pondered this the other day, I realized the last time I kissed any female other than her or another family member, East German soldiers were still shooting at people trying to escape over the wall...
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Feb.21.2013
Come on, show of hands. Who has had those recurring dreams about having to go but not being able to find a bathroom? Or you find one, but it’s public, literally.
I once thought that those dreams meant a loss of control, figuratively. Then I came to realize they were only a way of waking me up...
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Nov.03.2011
Why is there no polite word that is truly descriptive for one of the few places I can read in peace these days?
I mean, don’t go the restroom because I’m tired.
Trying to have a bath in an airport bathroom doesn't bear thinking about.
Toilet is just some French word that came from “toile” a...
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Oct.18.2010
A guy was seated next to a 10-year-old girl on an airplane. Being bored, he turned to the girl and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."
The little girl, who in true Lisbeth Salander fashion was reading a book...
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Mar.11.2010
As I trundle around the Levant researching my Palestinian crime novels, I love to come upon a stinking squatting-toilet, its evacuation hole bubbling with dark, sinister turds and the air strong with the scent of barely digested, unhygienically prepared lamb kebab. I adore such a khazi on sight,...
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Nov.19.2009
Happy Toilet Day! When I saw an ad this morning by one of those toilet cleaning companies, I thought it was a joke. One of those happy bogs thing to market the product. Turns out there is, indeed, more to defecation than a super bowel event.
Now don’t go screwing up your noses. It’s got big...
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Sep.23.2009
As the husband of the noted author, producer of West Coast Live, and kazoo advocate Kathi Kamen Goldmark, I am fortunate to be the recipient of many invitations to cool events where I meet fascinating people. But all those invitations pale by comparison to the one we just received from the Hotel...
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Jul.17.2009
I have discovered something wonderful from the response to my toilet blog: the world of the bathroom is much larger than I ever realized. All these years I have been sitting there thinking I leaned pretty much all I needed to know about the toilet when I was two or three years old. What a fool I...
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Jul.15.2009
Starbucks in Paris. McDonalds in Verona. The Gap in Milan. Coca Cola and Ikea on every continent. A world that grows more corporate, predictable, and monochromatic every day. Everywhere we turn there is a sameness to the food we eat, the books and news we read, the movies and television we watch,...
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