old age | old age
May.03.2013
Strangers, by Anita Brookner, had the peculiar effect on me that other Brookner books have had: a sense that leaving the characters she presents in the lurch (not reading to the end) would be unfair to them because they are intelligent, if isolated, and perceptive, if undistinguished, and don't...
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Mar.31.2013
Dad has made it known that the longest he sees himself going for dialysis is a year, even less and certainly no more.
He has requested for a family meeting, everyone complete, no exceptions. He wants to see all of us together.
Grandchildren included. August will be the likely month for...
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Mar.27.2013
I visited my father today.
“Is she fair?”
“Tell her I want to speak to her alone.”
Daisy the help whispered to me when I arrived.
She’s been with the family for 40 years.
What kind of a question is that?
I don’t think he should give up all to easily.
I don’t want to speculate either but how...
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Mar.24.2013
I've never been inside a dialysis unit before.I walked in to check on how dad was doing.I stopped and looked around.Tears welled in my eyes, I felt really sad.I had to get my act together before finding dad.
"I don't want to do this anymore." "What kind of a life is this having to sit here...
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Mar.22.2013
The week has come to an end and dad is home.
I brought lunch from the Thai Restaurant nearby.
He liked it!
But he was tired.
It was a quick meal and off he went to his bedroom.
I felt unsettled.
His sense of humor was missing today.
It takes a total of four and a half hours for every...
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Mar.21.2013
They all look the same to me.
The nurse arrived with her little cup of medication and the inquiry began.
Scrutinizing each pill under the microscope of his hands the nurse patiently explained what for.
Satisfied, he tossed them all into his mouth in one go.
Today was a good day to visit.
Dad...
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Mar.20.2013
I visited dad today.
“Nakakainip”. Meaning tedious or boring in English.
MWF. Three times a week for life, nothing less, days spread out evenly.
Short 3-day trips are fine but anything longer will require a dialysis center available at the destination.
Now I understand why he’s cranky...
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Mar.19.2013
My father began dialysis today.
The procedure takes three hours.
Fifteen minutes to go and he wants to stop.
I don’t understand.
I try to reason out by explaining that with a few minutes left it’s best to just finish the process.
But he’s uptight, cranky and being very difficult.
He’s aware...
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Feb.11.2013
Just a few days to go before he turns 87, my father decides to call of his dinner celebration.
He grumbles, “I’m not feeling well.”
It’s long overdue, finally and inevitably he has to undergo a dialysis.
It’s not the dialysis that’s worrying him but the whirling thoughts in his head that scare him...
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Feb.01.2013
I'm sometimes asked about my favorite writers and answer citing too many to make much of an impression--either about my taste or the writers themselves. One writer who always makes my lists, however, is Alice Munro. If that sparks any interest, and I'm asked what I like about her, I...
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