Newt Gingrich | Newt Gingrich
Dec.23.2011
Bah humbug everybody. And I imagine that sentiment is being echoed by more than a few of you overly familiar with the soft dark underbelly of this "happiest time of the year." Those of us who have been washed prone by the gushing holiday faucet of red and green greed and are dreading the...
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Dec.23.2011
Following in the footsteps of Newton's Three Laws of Motion, former House speaker and 2012 Republican presidential contender, Newt Gingrich, has developed his own set, and he's calling it "Newt Gingrich's Laws ofUpward Mobility:"
Newt's First Law:
Every object in stasis tends to remain in...
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Dec.16.2011
The mad mud tossing between Newt Gingrich and Mitt Romney, the last two Republicans still standing, is quickly ramping up to levels not seen since the Agincourt catapults. The candidates and their surrogates are busy dredging up dirt with fleets of front loaders, personally wetting it down with...
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Dec.14.2011
Now that Newt’s told us he wants to turn impoverished schoolkids into school janitors we have a better idea of what these Republican presidential aspirants mean when they say we’re being strangled by regulations. But there’s nothing new about this. It’s...
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Dec.09.2011
Okay. You can stop vibrating like a shaved poodle duct-taped to the foul pole at Wrigley during a night game in April. It's finally here. The 8th annual Top Ten Comedic News Stories of the Year. Veterans, please advise the newbies this list is NOT to be confused with the Top Ten Legitimate News...
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Dec.09.2011
There are two areas that I tend to avoid discussing just as I would try to avoid the plague – religion and politics. Over the last few days, however, I have had this burning desire to break my rule as it relates to politics.
First an admission: I am a registered democrat who votes very...
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Dec.08.2011
To be frank, I was going to wait until former speaker, and current main contender for the Oval Office, Newt Gingrich, was nominated to start this column, but what the hell.
Since Gingrich is essentially the template for Republican politics for the past generation or more, there are a...
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Dec.06.2011
‘Tis the season to be jolly, whether we are or not. Luckily, this year Santa has some good news. The economic crisis has hit the North Pole so hard that Mr. Claus has decided to change the policy.
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Dec.03.2011
Let's take a peek behind the scenes of GOP headquarters to listen in on the coaching strategy for the little game Republicans are currently playing called, "Anybody but Romney." Think "Whack- A- Mole" with media mallets.
"Well, here it is, boys, 2011. About time we scour the country and figure...
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Nov.22.2011
Let me be among the first 40-foot helium-filled balloons to kick-start our national parade of giving thanks. That's right, we're just about to butt heads with Turkey Holocaust Day, and to be perfectly honest, it's about time. A little tryptophan poisoning might be the perfect prescription for...
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