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tim-haywood's picture
Apr.28.2013
My wife and have been married twenty-four years. That's kind of a long time, you know? When I really pondered this the other day, I realized the last time I kissed any female other than her or another family member, East German soldiers were still shooting at people trying to escape over the wall...
tim-haywood's picture
Apr.07.2013
Such a strange animal, indeed. Then again, my wife says she's just like me, so does that make me a deviant curio as well? Um, apparently yes, it does. The thing is, being compared to a thirteen-year-old girl is a little strange when you happen to reside in the meat suit of a fifty-year-old dude. I'...
tim-haywood's picture
Mar.29.2013
I walked toward the front door Thursday morning, bearing the fresh burden of the twenty-six ton man bag I'd just hurled across my shoulder. "See you tonight," I said. "You bet you will." She stood in her bedroom doorway, looking every bit her just-woke-up teenagerness—pajama pants, one of fifty...
tim-haywood's picture
Mar.26.2013
The guy is sitting next to me on the Metro, not standing behind a counter. He's reading a book, not cracking a fresh roll of quarters and camouflaging himself in the green, orange and red of an American institution. It's the same uneasy feeling I get from thinking of Batman doing his laundry...
jane-wilson's picture
Mar.21.2013
I've been accused of being "incorrigibly nice."  Being a teacher is either a calling or a personality defect.  Or a little of both.                                            ...
tim-haywood's picture
Mar.20.2013
How does that time-worn old bromide go? Something like, "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans." True that. As much as we try to segment and sort or lives, as resolved as we are to organize and prioritize the scripts, every once in a while, something unforeseen slaps us upside...
tim-haywood's picture
Mar.09.2013
Over the past fifty years, pretty much since I popped the tag on my first Hostess pastry, I've been clutching a cold steel bar as it digs into my upper thigh meat. And once the carny released the lever, that thing's been locked on with no hope of escaping. I've been an unwitting passenger on the...
tim-haywood's picture
Feb.25.2013
If someone had slammed the twelve-year-old me against a locker, balled my pointy collar into his fist  and demanded  "Hey, man ('Dude' wasn't really around yet. We said it sometimes but never when addressing someone like 'Dude, I know, right?'), name a few things that are fun for your...
tim-haywood's picture
Feb.18.2013
"I’m gonna pop some tags, Only got twenty dollars in my pocket, I’m, I’m, I’m hunting, Looking for a come up, This is f#@*ing awesome." That's the hook from the number one song in the land this week, as sung(?) by Seattle's own Macklemore. Why would I post these questionable...
tim-haywood's picture
Feb.13.2013
How can they do this? How the hell can these folks eliminate one of the few activities in which every human being and many in our animal kingdom joyfully partake? I'm not kidding here; if somehow I were able to list each person I either currently know or with whom I've been even faintly...