kids | kids
Nov.07.2012
"It's important to be reality-based." -- analyst on CNN after the presidential election in the US
Forget politics, let's talk parenting.
The folks who looked clearly at the numbers (at reality) called this election weeks ago. The folks who were embroiled in their own ideologies (on both sides)...
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Oct.31.2012
I may be naive, but I'm not really concerned that the devil, if he/she/it even exists, is going to take over my children because they go all Bela Lugosi one day a year. I feel pretty comfortable all children, for that matter, are safe.
Can't we leave Halloween alone? Pretty please.
I'...
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Oct.29.2012
It was a beatdown, an ass whoopin', a curb stompin'. Sweet mother, those guys were dragged behind the woodshed and force fed a couple heapin' shitloads of chucknorris.
Oh, yeah, and really boring.
Aside from a few randy fetishists who occupy the outlying regions of society's bell-shaped curve...
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Oct.25.2012
It's been a while, now.
As of this juncture, I've been hurling my half-century-old carcass through the blogosphere for three years plus some change.
And throughout four hundred and fifty three posts, I've offered unsolicited insights into my worldview, submitting these thoughts while clenched...
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Oct.22.2012
Twenty years ago, Nike aired a television spot featuring Charles Barkley. As the camera framed his round face in an extreme black and white close-up, Barkley proclaimed, "I am not a role model...just because I dunk a basketball doesn't mean I should raise your kids."
True enough.
But if Swoosh...
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Oct.15.2012
Seriously, this couldn't have come at a better time.
After basking in eighty-one straight shimmering days of Pacific Northwest sunshine, I awakened at five-thirty this morning nearly as grumpy and sore as Jerry Sandusky after an evening horsing around with the prison tickle monster. Things were...
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Oct.11.2012
Since he was thirteen and six years my senior, he played on his knees while I was allowed to stand.
The living room was the stadium, our avocado carpet serving as the faux turf field and the fireplace mantel the glorious pay dirt of the end zone.
Clutching the football in the crook of my...
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Oct.08.2012
Dear Hallmark,
Why did you allow things to get to this point without calling me? Come on, you guys, you know I'm here for you.
It's obviously too late to reverse this current wave, now that you've announced the impending layoffs of seven hundred and fifty full-time American employees due to...
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Oct.04.2012
I'm obviously in the minority, here.
Apparently, I can be counted among those groups whose memberships are painfully small:
Those who feel O.J. didn't do it.
People who decided that it was finally safe to open the sliding glass door and let the raccoons meet the kittens.
Parents who choose a...
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Sep.30.2012
Remember back in the day, when a friend ventured to Europe for a semester or two, and returned speaking French with the fluidity of a Muppet chef or rattling off German with greater proficiency than Colonel Wilhelm Klink?
I didn't quite reach those aptitudal levels yesterday, but I came close to...
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