Humor | Humor
Mar.18.2013
March 18
Malaria
Flailing, reaching, screaming; hiding, avoiding, misdirecting, theses are subsets in a list of extremes whose commonality is lacking, lacking humility. I fall to pieces just thinking of standing exposed, imperfect and unprotected. I’m not...
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Mar.17.2013
I finally had to look it up.
Look, I'm not a doctor—don't play one on TV, radio or even the occasional podcast.
The nearest I've come to adhering any semblance of the Hippocratic Oath is doing no harm to the avocados I palpate on a weekly basis at Safeway.
But the deal is, those closest to me have...
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Mar.17.2013
March 17
Suit up, Show up
I stand naked, paralyzed, unable to reach my intended destination or any destination at all. Goose flesh is no real motivation and I am reluctant to use the prod having only produced resistance and reversals with past applications...
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Mar.16.2013
"'Roid Rage" is Real
I thought I'd covered all the bases. I stashed the cutlery in the garage and tuned the television to a leprechaun movie. I now want to stab leprechauns.
A concerned friend, who knows I live near Notre Dame asked how long it takes to get to the Golden Dome. "...
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Mar.16.2013
March 16
Bad Acting
Because there never seems to be enough love in the world to fill the wound, my wounded self riots. At times the debauchery seems good natured enough, flamboyant yet without harm, at other times the disturbance is apparently violent and the...
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Mar.15.2013
March 15
Three Card Monty
When I learn to excel at the good games and learn to leave the bad ones alone I think I will be all right. Simple enough to do when I can take off this blindfold and see the long term consequences of my pursuits. Engage...
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Mar.14.2013
March 14
Patricide
I never killed my father. Why finish a job that someone is completing all on his own. It’s not that I didn’t wish him dead; I did and do for that matter. Don’t misunderstand me, I wish him no harm, it’s just that he is like a...
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Mar.13.2013
I really needed the work, otherwise, trust me, I wouldn’t have taken a job as a personal assistant to a cat. Not even if it’s starring in Breakfast at Tiffany’s on Broadway.
First of all, I’m deathly allergic−within twenty minutes of being around a cat, my eyelids will look like cheese...
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Mar.13.2013
March 13
Wax On
“Sometimes a dish is just a dish,” I said to my sponsor.
“Yes and sometimes it is the world away, which you hold in your hand,” her reply.
I stand at the sink and try to wash the dishes when I am washing the dishes. I try to drive the...
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